Archive | East Side Guide Satire

The editorial content in this section is satirical and should not be taken seriously. It is merely printed in jest in celebration of April Fool’s Day.

Dude in back of economics lecture officially stoned as shit

Dude in back of economics lecture officially stoned as shit

It helps him “get in the zone”

Posted in East Side Guide Satire, Featured, News0 Comments

FDA approves release of new antidepressant

FDA approves release of new antidepressant

In a measure that would reduce whiny, needy, narcissistic Americans everywhere to a tamer, respectful society altogether, the Federal Drug Administration approved a new measure Tuesday morning that would make Fukitol, the world’s most reliable antidepressant to date, free for all citizens whether they have insurance or not.

Posted in East Side Guide Satire, Featured, News3 Comments

Rick Santorum Steak House & Gift Shop to open this summer

Rick Santorum Steak House & Gift Shop to open this summer

Restaurant blends revisionist history with warped ethics

Posted in East Side Guide Satire, Featured, News4 Comments

The great divide

With the departure of Andrew Bogut, the season tickets for Squad 6 are up for grabs.

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Riverside High School students take home live babies

Riverside High School students take home live babies

RUHS initiates successful family and consumer education curriculum with live infants instead of electronic ones.

Posted in East Side Guide Satire, Featured, News1 Comment

UWM secures site for new freshmen housing in the heart of the Murray Hill neighborhood

UWM secures site for new freshmen housing in the heart of the Murray Hill neighborhood

UWM secures site for new freshmen housing in the heart of the Murray Hill neighborhood.

Posted in East Side Guide Satire, News0 Comments

Study: Shitty piano playing causes cancer

Study: Shitty piano playing causes cancer

Thousands of UWM students at risk daily

Posted in East Side Guide Satire, News1 Comment

Facebook hack causes national crisis

Facebook hack causes national crisis

Few details are known about the extent of the Facebook hacking problem, according to the White House, though this incident is not believed to be the first.

Posted in East Side Guide Satire, News0 Comments

Cambridge residents organize charity event for Sandburg squatters

Cambridge residents organize charity event for Sandburg squatters

Cambridge Commons residents are organizing a charity event to help the less fortunate students living in Sandburg Hall.

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A most dangerous game with the new provost

A South African safari with Provost Britz

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