• News
• Fringe
• Sports
• Editorial
• UH Section
• Archives

• About
• Join the Post
• Contact
• Advertising

• E-mail
• Print
• Text size:

So go ahead, continue to make up reasons why you don’t like the NBA just like you’ve been making up reasons for getting that waste of ink that you make sure to show off every day with a sleeveless shirt.

I get that it’s trendy and all to hate on the NBA—really, I do—they get paid more money in a year than many of us are likely to see in a lifetime to play a game many of us enjoy playing for free. It’s unfair.

Since your hoop dreams will go no further than that decent play you made that one time at the Klotsche Center after BUSTING YOUR BALLS IN THE WEIGHT ROOM YEAAAAAH, you aren’t going to sit around and watch a bunch of super-freak athletes deflate your ego for 48 minutes. I can understand that, just like I can understand that you’ll never admit to the regret you feel for getting that random tattoo on your bicep. So go ahead, continue to make up reasons why you don’t like the NBA just like you’ve been making up reasons for getting that waste of ink that you make sure to show off every day with a sleeveless shirt.

You are a college basketball fan, though, of course, since the game is much more pure. Forget that in college many players are playing for a scholarship and, at bigger programs, receive per diems that would make NBA stars jealous. The basketball is simply more pure in college. Sure, a lot of times by “pure” you really mean “boring as hell,” but come on, it’s team basketball. Look at the unselfishness of that un-athletic white guy! How pure it is!

I know, I know, you don’t like that they don’t call traveling in the NBA. Even if the only reason a play looks like traveling is because the athlete in question has such a long stride two steps looks like four, it’s still traveling in your book.

Naturally, the baggy shorts make everyone look like idiots, even if the shorts are the same length in college and the same length as the ones you wear when you gulp down some powdered substance and hit the gym.

Yes, the three-pointers and dunks have ruined the game. Even if you weren’t alive to see what the game was like without them, you’re convinced of that much.

I get that you’re fed up with the foul-and-chase method that can extend the last minute of a close game to 10, since you crave that fast-paced, non-stop action of football and baseball. Right.

Certainly, too, after this Tim Donaghy madness, all of these games must be fixed, since there are never any controversial, game-deciding calls or no-calls in other sports, especially on Jay Cutler fumbles or Adrian Peterson helmet-removals.

Come on now.

If you really do enjoy college basketball and aren’t just saying that so you don’t look like a moron come March Madness, there’s no reason that you can’t enjoy the NBA as well. The basketball is of the highest quality in the world. The athletes, save for Brian Scalabrine, are as good as they come.

I realize that many habits are hard to break. Just ask the idiots who don’t wear seatbelts or the inconsiderate hipsters that seem to wait until I’m directly in the path of their smoke to take a big puff of their cigarettes. It’s hard, but you can do it.

So why not buck the trend and start watching some NBA this year?

> Comments