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Archived: Oct 29, 2007

‘All your base are belong to us’

A look at the ugly side of video games

By Marty Sliva

For every “Legend of Zelda,” there’s a “Superman 64.” For every “Half Life,” there’s a “Daikatana” (brownie points to anyone who remembers that catastrophe of a game).

If the argument can be made that video games are as dense an art form as film, then one also has to accept the fact that they both share similar peaks, as well as similar valleys.

For every “Legend of Zelda,” there’s a “Superman 64.” For every “Half-Life,” there’s a “Daikatana” (brownie points to anyone who remembers that catastrophe of a game).

Like film and literature, the quality of a video game can oftentimes be difficult to measure. One of the most frustrating things that a game can do is excel at numerous levels, while absolutely failing at others.

We’ve all been sitting in front of a movie, enjoying the experience, when all of a sudden some ridiculous dialogue removes the viewer from the film.

Terrible dialogue in video games is caused by a multitude of different factors. One of the major ones during the early days of the art form was the fact that since most games were coming from Japan, a translation was needed before it could be distributed to Western audiences. And by translation, that usually meant a slapped together hodgepodge of spelling and grammar mistakes.

One of the more famous examples of an insanely poor translation is in the Sega Mega Drive debacle known as “Zero Wing.” During the opening scene of the game, nearly every line is written with some sort of grammatical flaw, culminating in the epic phrase, “All your base are belong to us.”

As hard as “Zero Wing” may try, it doesn’t even come close to the painful entertainment known as the dialogue in the original “Resident Evil.”

The game itself is an undeniable classic, but the writing and acting lie somewhere in between atrocious and hilarious. Every time a character opens their mouth, nothing but laughter-inducing nonsense comes out.

Not only is the writing as bland as can be, but the actors sound like they never really mastered the art of speaking. Lines meant to be serious ended up becoming mockeries, such as the infamous, “Don’t. Open. That. Door,” at the start of the game.

If video games are to be taken seriously as a medium on par with film and literature, then one must also be able to admit that there are definitely blemishes throughout its history.

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