E-mail
Print
‘THEY MEET’
Learning how to love with ‘Ms. Pac-Man’
By Marty Sliva
It’s safe to say that we all wish we could meet our soul mates while being chased by a gaggle of pastel ghosts.
I am completely serious when I say that all you’ll ever need to know about relationships can be gained from the three interludes of “Ms. Pac-Man.”
The bond between Mr. and Ms. Pac-Man is as strong as any in film or literature. Like Han and Leia, Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy, or Bono and his gigantic ego, the two chomping circles epitomize the beauty of true love.
When the player first begins the game, they have no idea that they are about to become involved in the greatest romance of our time. The only things that stand between the player and a lesson in love are four diabolical ghosts.
These nightmarish monstrosities are so aptly named Pinky, Blinky, Inky and Sue. Remember these names, because they will haunt your dreams until the end of time.
Those with enough moral fiber to brave the numerous labyrinths will be treated to three scenes that summarize the perfect relationship.
Act 1- THEY MEET
So many relationships can be measured by the quality of the very first meeting. It’s safe to say that we all wish we could meet our soul mates while being chased by a gaggle of brightly colored ghosts.
Not only would that be an amazing story to tell while slightly intoxicated at cocktail parties, but you could also sell your story to Lifetime for some nice bank.
Act 2- THE CHASE
The most passionate aspect of a relationship lies at the heart of the back-and-forth exchange between the two parties. Seeing those two bright yellow circles chomp away at one another is enough to warm of the heart of even the most frigid of cynics.
The best part of the blossoming relationship is the fact that they spend their entire lives running and eating a delicious cornucopia filled with fruits of all variety. The Utopian dream has finally been realized.
Act 3- JUNIOR
Before you ask, no this title does not refer to Sean Connery’s nickname for Indy in “Last Crusade.” After a serendipitous tryst, the only thing left to do is procreate like jack rabbits. Much to the chagrin of the masses, the only glimpse of intimacy we see is a stork dropping off a bundle that contains Baby Pac-Man (an oxymoron, I know).
To see the love between two yellow balls create a smaller yellow ball is as beautiful a sight as any in all of nature. Honestly, try to think of something more breathtaking…yeah, that’s what I thought.
As “Ms. Pac-Man” has taught us, all great relationships consist of a memorable beginning, an exciting middle, and an end filled with nothing but baby-making.
> Comments