Imagine some manly Viking trying on a new wolf belt when all of a sudden the moon pops out and he’s a massive were-Viking. I don’t even think silver bullets could stop that.

In the spirit of the damned and the dead, we are looking at two icons of All Hallows Eve: vampires and werewolves. Which one is truly the king of Halloween?

When just talking about origins of these two legends, it’s easy to cite the Wolfman and Dracula. It all starts with Dracula and ends with Dracula in most cases.

One thing I never understood was how some people that are bitten don’t turn into the living dead while others do. Obviously you can’t come back as a vampire if they rip your throat out, but sometimes victims get a little bite and just die.

Werewolves are pretty universal across the board. You get bit; you turn around and wreak havoc and chaos. No one escapes being bit and just dies. If you’re bit, you become a werewolf, unless you were killed by the werewolf.

The only way I can see you surviving a werewolf attack is if someone is there to help you. Otherwise that werewolf is going to rip you apart. It is a bloodthirsty monster, after all.

There are other myths and legends out there as well. Some time ago, it was believed you could become a werewolf by putting on a wolf skin belt. Imagine some manly Viking trying on a new wolf belt when all of a sudden the moon pops out and he’s a massive were-Viking. I don’t even think silver bullets could stop that.

Vampires are fragile creatures when it comes to sunlight, garlic and crosses. Stab them through the heart and in most cases they turn to dust or ash.

That’s all well and fine, but seriously, couldn’t they have found a less messy way to go? If I’m a vampire hunter, I just want to kill you, not take little pieces of your carcass with me on my clothes.

Werewolves are pretty simple: Silver bullets to the chest and the creature dies, reverting back to its human state. At that point you realize you’ve just killed your loved one because he or she was about to chew your face off. Other artifacts of silver work as well, but why bring a knife to a gun fight?

Vampires don’t necessarily like hand-to-hand fighting, instead opting to lurk around the shadows, luring innocent women to come closer. Not so bad-ass, huh? Werewolves skip all of the foreplay and go right for the kill.

This is how ALL werewolves act and it hasn’t changed in years. When I see something like, “30 Days of Night,” I see vampires trying to be as cool as werewolves, decimating people with no fooling around. Posers.

To put the final nail in the coffin for vampires, chew on this fact: In the super hit movie, “The Monster Squad,” Dracula enlists a bunch of classic movie monsters to do his dirty work for him.

In one of the final battles, the Wolfman is blown to pieces. Well, you can’t kill a werewolf like that so his body parts find each other and he comes back to kick some tail.

Not only was the werewolf blown up, but he took one for the team, sacrificing himself to stop the protagonists so Dracula could succeed. This proves that Dracula is a wuss who doesn’t like getting his hands dirty.

Werewolves would win in a real fight against Dracula, too. For proof, go watch the most recent “Van Helsing.” It’s all there; Dracula trying to run, Dracula trying to beg for his life and above all, Dracula getting his butt kicked by one cool-looking werewolf.

It’s almost as if they made it less of an action flick and more of a documentary. Werewolves win.

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