When the armada finally reaches the English coast, the epic battle is about as exciting to watch as two guys playing Risk in their basement.

Award-winning actress Cate Blanchett returns to the throne as England’s queen in “Elizabeth: the Golden Age.” However, cheeky humor and a love story fit for high school turn the successor to the Oscar-nominated “Elizabeth” into just another campy chick flick.

The story begins with a quick introduction of the cast of characters. Elizabeth is single and lonely; her evil cousin Mary is trying to take her thrown and Philip of Spain wants to bring Catholicism to Europe in the form of a vast armada. The dashing seafarer, and Elizabethan heartthrob Sir Walter Raleigh (Clive Owen), has also returned from the new land to sweep the queen off her feet.

The film’s fast opening makes it easy to follow without a vast overdrawn description of each individual character. This keeps the film away from being the typical 3-hour biopic that usually comes out of the period piece genre.

It is also impressive that the writers kept the film separate from the original storyline. Anyone who hasn’t seen the first can enjoy the second without being completely lost.

Elizabeth is humanized well by Blanchett. The queen is seen looking at her aging body in the mirror in disgust. She complains about the lines on her face, and is envious of her younger aides.

All historical inaccuracy aside, the film has problems in many other areas. It is supposed to be the story of the famed Spanish Armada and England’s rise to empire status. However, the audience is stuck with the failed frustrating love affair between the queen, Raleigh and her dear friend Bess. The soapy love triangle takes the forefront, with only minor hints of her cousin’s assassination attempt and the coming Spanish fleet.

Brief mention of the Spanish hatred and the occasional torture of Mary’s assassins leaves the audience confused until the end.

Once the love story is drawn out the heartbroken queen finally notices the invading Spanish fleet. When the armada finally reaches the English coast, the epic battle is about as exciting to watch as two guys playing Risk in their basement.

Little gold ships slide across maps while the queen watches in the distance. The little CGI shown is only the precursor to battle, and the end result.

Anyone wanting an epic film with an action-packed naval battle should look elsewhere. The film is built more for a woman seeking a love story and a historical figure she can relate to than it is for an audience interested in the historical account of a great ruler.

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