They are simply college kids whom “residents have more in common with than a lot of them think,” explained Bartell.

A resident assistant’s duties are broadly defined in the thrilling read that is the “Resident Handbook.” In short, they are “expected to work with residents to create an open, inclusive, and supportive residential community,” and so on, and so forth.

Now, that would be all fine and dandy if life was a rousing episode of “Leave It to Beaver,” but since it’s not, there is obviously more to it than that.

Clearly, the best way to uncover the real story was to stalk and harass my own R.A., and what was uncovered was equally as fluffy and perfect as the handbook described.

According to Michael Bartell, the R.A. for the 11th and 12th floors of North Tower, the main aspects of an R.A.’s job are to make himself “available to the residents,” in addition to enforcing policies.

“When residents decide to break policy, the R.A.’s must document the situation; it’s our job. It’s just something we have to do,” said Bartell.

And thanks to their extensive training, every R.A. is well prepared to handle any task that is thrown his or her way.

From documenting situations to handling medical emergencies, all the way to cleaning up vomit, (yes, vomit), as well as other assorted things, they are responsible for the safety of every resident in their charge.

With the responsibility on their shoulders akin to Atlas, there are definite perks to this job. Aside from the pride and being able to meet new people, the pecuniary benefits can “really ease the burden of being a poor college student.”

But, of course, becoming a well-compensated puke cleaner requires that you jump through a lot of hoops beforehand.

Aside from an extensive and thorough application process that asks questions such as “What are some of the ways you feel you could benefit from being a resident assistant?” there are other necessary qualifications including a good police record, a 2.5 cumulative GPA, a full-time student status, and generally, a sophomore standing.

Whether an R.A. is helping with a practice fire drill or coordinating a suite meet and greet they are first and foremost students, just like the rest of us. They aren’t solely authority figures.

They are simply college kids whom “residents have more in common with than a lot of them think,” explains Bartell.

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