When all is said and done, if I don’t have the most stars at the end of a game, I usually end up starting a structure fire.

The ‘80s are a decade known for the birth of three things: crack-cocaine, Nintendo and greed. This week, we’re going to focus on the final two items in that list.

In “Wall Street,” Gordon Gekko told audiences that, “Greed, for lack of a better word, is good.” Oliver Stone is a director who loves to deal with the theme of greed and how it can create and destroy and identity.

Authors like Mario Puzo and Bret Easton Ellis have also been using greed as a cornerstone for their works for decades. Even television has dabbled in the topic. Remember the show “Greed?”

Anyone?

No?

That’s fine, neither do I.

There is a thin line between an excess and an absence of greed. Authors and directors alike have attempted to flesh out this dichotomy for centuries, but it really seems impossible for film or literature to accurately portray the full scale of greed.

Thankfully, there is one piece of art in one medium that can fully bring out the deep gluttony in even the most honest of people. This well of sin is known around some circles as “Mario Party.”

The entire game is built around greed. Players attempt to swindle coins, stars and various items from the three other people that they are playing with. This leads to anger, jealousy and loud noises that even Brick Tamland could appreciate.

Apart from mental anguish, the greed associated with “Mario Party” has also caused considerable physical damage to many people. In the original installment of the series, several mini-games forced the player to rotate the analog stick as quickly as they could. Because of this, broken controllers and blistered palms ensued, leading to a class-action lawsuit against Nintendo.

Not only can the game hurt you physically and mentally, but also destroy all bonds that you hold dear. “Mario Party” is more divisive than a hellacious hybrid of religion and politics. It turns friends and lovers into enemies and nemeses. Case in point: I’ve murdered two of my brothers because they stole a star from me during the waning rounds of a game.

When all is said and done, if I don’t have the most stars at the end of a game, I usually end up starting a structure fire. Call me greedy, but I’d rather see my apartment burn to the ground in a blaze of unparalleled glory than watch my buddy brag about his victory.

> Comments