Playing on an intramural team is one of the most enjoyable aspects of the college experience.

Even though you have lived in the dorms for a month already, you may not have actually become a true Panther yet. How does one become a Panther, you ask? Well, coming from upperclassmen, here are ten ways that you can really grow to be a developed college student at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee.

Some of these things may seem a little crazy to you, but as long as you accomplish a good half of them, then you can be proud to call yourself an accomplished UWM freshman.

1. Attend a house party: Ditch drinking your Fleischmann’s vodka inside of your dorm room all alone, and get out on the streets. If you don’t know anyone who has got a party house, or if you are just too socially retarded to receive an invitation, then you can just walk right into a party.

As long as everyone at the party is well on their way to becoming belligerently inebriated, nobody will even notice that you have crashed it. Be a high-quality guest, join in on the keg stands, and wait for a turn at the beer pong table.

1. Get walked in on: Some time or another, you’ll most likely be too tipsy to lock the door before you decide to mess around with your significant other. If someone walks in on you, it’s probably your own fault, and you should politely ask your roommate, while you lie there buck naked, “could you please come back later?” Always remember to be polite, lock the door, or leave a cowboy hat on the doorknob.

2. Order Chinese food: What’s better than a whole lot of rice and MSG getting delivered right to your dorm during your late night study groups or girls night in get-togethers?

3. Ride a city bus: Talk about a melting pot! The best way to develop a cultural tolerance is by going for a ride to the quickie mart on the city bus. The scenery I enjoyed last week included lots of people smoking on the sidewalks, little kids jumping on mattresses in their back yard for fun, rundown buildings and a Walgreens on just about every street corner.

4. Join an intramural team: so, maybe you aren’t the most athletic person in the world, but playing on an intramural team is one of the most enjoyable aspects of the college experience. If you feel like having a good time, then gather up some pals and play almost any sport you can imagine, including volleyball, basketball and dodge ball.

5. Utilize the Green Room: Keep that freshmen fifteen just a myth while keeping a toned body. Get to know the fitness instructors by reading Marly’s section of the paper and get involved in a workout class.

6. Accept free condoms: We’re all aware of the fact that abstinence is the only way to stay STD free and avoid getting knocked up, but just in case you end up in the middle of a one-night stand, condoms are key. You can find them in a large fishbowl inside of the Norris Health Center or by the SHAC office on floor three, next to the cafeteria.

7. Go Bowling: Fid you know that the Union contains a bowling alley in its basement? Well neither did I… until I actually used it. Bowling only costs $5.00/half hour per lane plus a $0.75 shoe rental. Grab a few friends and spend a night at the bowling alley sober once in a while…or not.

8. Get familiar with the area: Recognize street names and know how to get around the city, or at least around the campus. Figure out where the Open Pantry, Noodles and Company, Hookah bar, bus stops, hair salon, and Panther Books are. This will not only help you get the things that you need to survive, but help you feel more at home, as well.

9. Make a 2:00 a.m. Jimmy John’s run: Nothing is more fun than a late night snack when you can’t sleep. Just make sure that you drag a couple of friends along with you to avoid getting mugged.

Jimmy John’s also hits the spot after a good, long night of partying. What the hell, just take the whole party over for a gourmet sub sandwich.

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