Archived: Apr 28, 2008

> Sports

Won’t you take me to… TitleTown

ESPN searches for pre-existing destination

By Brett Winkler

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They’ve told you “Who’s Now.” They’ve told you what’s going on in all 50 states—and did it in just 50 days. This summer, “SportsCenter” will tell you exactly where TitleTown USA really is.

Finally, sports fans will know which town will take the place of Green Bay, Wis., after Green Bay lost the moniker due to… wait… isn’t Green Bay still referred to as TitleTown USA?

Yeah, that’s what I thought. Well…uh…jeez, this is awkward.

Sorry ESPN, this little contest of yours is pointless. This place you’re looking for already exists, but of course, that won’t stop you, will it?

According to the official website for this little TitleTown USA contest, www.espn.com/thisisthestupidestcontestever, “’SportsCenter’ will visit 20 towns that lay claim to the name of TitleTown, USA.”

Somehow, I don’t think that there are 20 towns that do lay claim to that name. In fact, I’m almost positive that Green Bay is the only city that does so.

It’s not just me either. It seems to be a pretty widely accepted fact that Green Bay is TitleTown USA. Ever watch NFL Films? TitleTown USA is a synonym for Green Bay. Then there’s Wikipedia (which has never been wrong nor will ever be wrong), a site that re-directs any search inquires for “titletown” to Green Bay’s page as a result of the city’s football team winning 12 NFL titles. The city’s seal includes a Packer logo, and get this, the words “Titletown, USA.”

Even from within ESPN, Green Bay is acknowledged as TitleTown. “SportsCenter” anchor and Green Bay native John Anderson mentions in an essay on the city that 27 local businesses use the phrase “Titletown” in the yellow pages.

So why can ESPN swoop in and suddenly decide to strip the town of its title? Because the Packers haven’t won a Super Bowl in over a decade? Because Brett Favre started getting cold like a mere mortal? Or is it because ESPN simply didn’t really think this one through when scrambling to fill a programming slot?

What will the next contest be? Where is the Windy City? Where is the City of Brotherly Love? Just as there may be cities with more titles than Green Bay, there may be cities with more wind than Chicago and, well, more brotherly love than Philadelphia, but those long-standing city nicknames aren’t about to be a removed by a television program.

If ESPN wanted to host a contest to determine which city had the most successful sports franchises, simply calling it a more generic name that isn’t already in use would have worked just fine. Something like “Championship City” or “Which City is Now?” wouldn’t upset the locals. That way, ESPN could go ahead and name Boston the winner just as they’d planned and nobody back in Titletown would raise a stink.

Instead, they chose to use a well-established namesake that’s been around since the ‘60s, and surely they now realize their mistake. The Web site lists Green Bay as the only city thus far, giving it an automatic bid because, after all, it has been known as Titletown USA for some 50 years. (So, contest over, right?)

Of course, that won’t hinder “SportsCenter” from going through the long, tedious process of dramatically narrowing down cities. In the end, though, they must know that if any city other than Green Bay wins, the ESPN offices in Bristol, Conn. will receive all of the pent-up frustration from a heartbreaking NFC Championship loss, the retirement of a legend and a miserable winter in the form of splattered eggs on their windows.

That’ll show ‘em who’s now.

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