Now, please do not doubt my food savvy, because I really do love anchovies, just not when they are looking at me all dead and sad on my pizza.

Listen up: if you eat pizza anywhere other than Zaffiro’s on the corner of Farewell and Brady St., then you cannot call yourself a true East Sider. Don’t worry if you can’t get your lazy, order-pizza-by-phone-butt over there because they aren’t hurting for business.

This restaurant has been a Milwaukee icon for almost 60 years. I grew up on this pizza, my mother grew up on this pizza and my grandparents were some of the first people to eat this pizza when the Zaffiro family opened their doors in 1951.

Just like any legendary pizza pie from the likes of Chicago and New York – it’s all about the crust. The cheese is fine and the toppings are the usual, but the crust is truly something to drool over.

The pizza is cut into squares, which I usually do not like because then, if I get a piece from the middle, there is no crispy crust to be had. Not at Zaffiro’s, oh no. The crust is crispy and thin all the way around. I consider it to be the eighth wonder of the world--it’s that good.

My favorite is a pie Zaffiro likes to call the “EBF” or Everything But Fish ($21.00) and by fish they mean anchovies. Now, please do not doubt my food savvy, because I really do love anchovies, just not when they are looking at me all dead and sad on my pizza. I asked if I could have them sliced up and scattered about my other toppings, my server peered at me from behind her spectacles, raised her already wrinkled forehead and said, “Uh, no.”

Zaffiro’s waitresses have been working here for decades, donning the same red apron and serving the same pizza and beer combinations night after night. Their attitude is unmatched and their uncanny confusion when you ask for anything not on the menu (sliced anchovies, half pepperoni, no croutons on the salad and an itemized receipt) is quite hysterical.

A word of advice: don’t confuse your servers. They are sweet old ladies who like their routine.

OK, back to the pizza. Really it was perfect. The cheese was bubbling and all the veggies and meat on top were crisp and hot. Another trademark of this place is the way the pepperoni comes on the pizza. The rounds get crispy and a little shriveled up from the intense heat.

For those of you who live and breathe off of mozzarella sticks ($5.75), I hear they are to-die-for. I have to admit, I literally cannot put a fried cheese stick into my mouth unless I want to hang out in the bathroom the rest of the night. But everyone else loves them.

“Write that they are crispy and fried perfectly,” my dining companion told me. “The cheese is not too hot where you can burn your tongue and the marinara sauce is homemade. You can tell by the chunky texture and the bright tomato flavor.”

Oh and I cannot forget about the monster of a salad I always get. After ordering, the pizza can take a long time to bake, so it’s always a good idea to order the Zaffiro house salad ($8.75).

But really, you need one salad for every four people you are eating with—this thing is gigantic. Topped with croutons and cubes of mozzarella cheese and pepperoni, the salad is made with a full head of shredded iceberg lettuce, a simple Italian style vinaigrette, mushrooms and pepperoncini. It’s a great big bowl of salad perfect for picking on when you are waiting for your pizza.

Zaffiro’s atmosphere is a little dingy and run down, but I really couldn’t see it any other way. The table cloths are red and white checked and probably date back from its opening. The dining room is small and makes you feel like you are eating on top of the people sitting next to you, but it’s great.

If your candle blows out in the middle of dinner, don’t even bother asking for it to be re-lit. “Honey, I’m way too busy to go searching around in back for matches. I think you’ll be OK,” your waitress will tell you.

As she scurried away with a tray full of empty beer bottles on her shoulder, I almost died laughing. You really can’t get much ruder than that, but it was perfect.

I secretly felt bad for asking. She really was busy. The place is loud, smoky and continuously bustling.

That’s just Zaffiro’s.

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