We probably all knew right away. We probably just didn’t want to admit it. Back when Mark McGuire and Sammy Sosa were knocking balls out of the park in jerseys that mysteriously no longer fit them, we just shrugged our shoulders and said our ooo’s and our ahh’s with everybody else.

The strike was years ago, we liked baseball again, and look at this! They’re both going to break a 37-year-old record in the same year! Amazing! All was well in the world, until somebody had to go and mention what everybody else had been too afraid to bring up.

“Hey man, this isn’t natural. These guys gotta be on steroids or something.”

Crap. Somebody had to go and say it, didn’t they?

Nearly 10 years later, the topic everybody was too afraid to talk about has become the absolutely only topic to talk about. Now, ESPN has an expert on using needles and an expert on taking supplements and an expert on anything but baseball.

They assigned Pedro Gomez to stalk Barry Bonds at all hours of the night, and then assigned three more people to stalk Pedro Gomez. They’re even talking about which players’ wives have ever taken steroids, or even, God forbid, a Tylenol. Yes, we’ve come a long way from pretending nothing fishy was going on, but it can’t exactly be called progress.

It wasn’t long after the first utterance of the “s” word that Congress decided to get involved. Since war in Iraq and a dwindling economy are boring topics, Congress decided they ought to sort out the rules of a game that they kind of liked. For the first time in the history of Congress, surely, they screwed the pooch.

Hearsay and documents like the Mitchell Report have turned the process of finding the ‘roided culprits into a complete witch hunt, the likes of which would make Joseph McCarthy proud. Roger Clemens may as well be a Communist.

Instead of leaving the issue to the MLB to test and punish future violators of the steroid policy, Congress continues to name old offenders, some of whom are accused of taking HGH, a substance that wasn’t even banned by the league until 2005.

Even if everybody named in the Mitchell Report has taken steroids – which, to be honest, is probably the case – there’s no need for the continued interference from Congress.

What’s the point of bringing a proud baseball legend before a court? In an effort to maintain the credibility that can only be gained through years of hard work, said player is likely to lie about any brief involvement with illegal substances.

Terrific! Now he can be charged with perjury for lying under oath! Is that really the goal?

Thanks for your trouble Congress, but we get the point. For a number of years, baseball players used steroids. We know. The cat’s out of the bag and taking a needle to the butt as we speak. Give it a rest.

We’re probably ready to move on now.

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