“Pirates Online” is free for download, and there is no reason to ever expand beyond the free limited access game because nobody with a brain, let alone half a brain, would ever pay for the wretched hell-that-is-this-game spews from the screen.

This game could be summed up by what one hears in the commercial: “Come join the thousands online now.” If you find yourself asking what I mean by that: simple. Recently, MMOs have had player counts in the millions, so this game is a little behind the times and a little under-polished. There are only thousands online because the game isn’t good enough for most players to give it a second glance after playing it for half an hour.

The premise of the game is that players run around the pirate-ridden Caribbean, attempting to help Jack Sparrow and other movie stars combat the dread zombie pirate Jolly Roger, who is out to get Jack for turning him undead. At the same time, players have the freedom to pillage waters from random strangers one could find in real life at public schools playgrounds, ice rinks and zoos.

“Pirates Online” is free for download, and there is no reason to ever expand beyond the free limited access game because anybody with a brain, let alone half a brain, would ever pay for the wretched hell-that-is-this-game spews from the screen. But for the sake of argument, I will enumerate the differences between the two versions of the game.

The limited-access game allows players to explore the same areas as unlimited access players. Some of the higher-level items and the all ships above the basic one are unlocked, giving unlimited access.

Players with unlimited access gain reputation and level characters faster. Unlimited Access costs $9.95 a month and the first month $4.95, so with limited access, a player isn’t missing too much.

It would be nice if the unlimited access game came with something more like a graphical upgrade or if it unlocked new islands, but, alas, players are going to have to be content with the Nintendo 64-quality graphics and a very small group of islands.

One of the nice features about the game is that the character customization is quite impressive at the beginning of the game. Players can create avatars and change almost every feature.

There are many customizable options for players to tinker with that can lead to a variety of pirates, but then it sets in after hours of playing that characters are stuck with all the clothes that they put on. There never is the option of further customize your character or exchange it.

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