Only in America are we allowed a day when we intentionally cook more food than we need just to make sure we “don’t run out.” No wonder third-world countries dislike us.

When it comes to the holidays, nothing can compare to Thanksgiving. The food, the football and the family all combine and become one cohesive eating, celebrating and bickering machine.

It really is a bittersweet sight. Dad watches football while yelling at the little cousins to sit down and be quiet, mom slaves over the stove and you, the college kid, come home to it all, dreading the day when YOU will have to pay for the food and cook the meal.

Only in America are we allowed a day when we intentionally cook more food than we need just to make sure we “don’t run out”. No wonder third-world countries dislike us.

To top it off, we have dessert to deal with while we watch our football. Heaven forbid we don’t nearly throw up on this day of giving thanks to…um…what was it again were thankful for? Oh, right – conquering land, passing diseases and discovering whiskey. Perfect.

All that aside, you will eventually finish your meal and have to choose a dessert, and it’s usually something in the pie genre. It’s a tough choice, and the two main options are usually pecan or pumpkin.

I know what you’re thinking, dear reader: “Pecan pie owns all other pies!” But in thinking this, you would be wrong. It is actually pumpkin that is the more popular choice, and following is why.

When you sit down for your dessert, the first thing passed around is the pumpkin pie. You take your slice, add your whipped cream and pass it along. Rarely will someone ever pass on pumpkin pie for the sake of “waiting for something better.” This is because there is nothing better. Pumpkin pie is usually the first to go because it’s a crowd favorite.

Even if pecan pie gets a chance to go around the table, most people look at it with disgust. It looks plain awful. Not only that, but the nuts are more of a hindrance than a welcomed addition.

Pecans have this little skin on them that like to get stuck in your teeth, leaving you to look goofy the rest of the night, trying to pick the skin out with your tongue.

Pumpkin pie is smooth and no one really questions what it is when they see it. It’s a staple of Thanksgiving, kind of like that giant horn centerpiece-thing your crazy aunt always brings out. There are two bad things about pumpkin pie, however. The first is that there is never enough. The second is the outside crust. Eating the outside crust of pumpkin pie is like eating a separate desert, only it makes you thirstier than its other dessert-world brethren.

So remember to give thanks for all the food you didn’t have to buy as a college kid. Remember to try not to waste (because we all know Thanksgiving leftovers are gross) and save room for that delicious pumpkin pie.

Don’t worry about the pecan pie. I’m sure the dog will enjoy it.

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