Orgasm, wondrous orgasm
The healing properties of ‘oh, oh, ooooohhhhh’
By Devon Wiesend
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By Tuesday, an amazing orgasm had given me a whole new perspective on life.
You have been having a horrible day. You woke up late, aren’t feeling well and everyone seems to be against you. You are stressed out, angry and you have a headache the size of Montana.
What do you do?
Actually, I should say, who do you do?
That’s right; orgasm has been proved to relieve stress, resulting in that headache and that kink in your neck disappearing in no time. Why is this, you ask? I haven’t the faintest idea, and honestly, I don’t much care. An explanation about hormone levels and the release of serotonin would put me to sleep. What I do know, though, is that it really works.
On Monday, I was having an awful day. The night before had resulted in a mounting stress level, disappointment in my fellow human beings and a craving for a hug.
By Tuesday, an amazing orgasm had given me a whole new perspective on life. I walked into my office with a prance in my step and a lot more patience. My mood had very obviously improved, and there is only one thing I can give credit to: orgasm, wondrous orgasm.
Whether with another person (or people, who am I to judge?) or by yourself, an orgasm can be a great way to break up the monotony of a day. Hell, at work with a hangover? Take a bathroom break and come back with new energy. Your boss may not like it, or hell, maybe your boss is doing the same thing. There’s a woman I know who can’t go a day at work without an orgasm and her boss is aware of this. He lets her use his office whenever she feels “stressed.”
I don’t want to know whether he has ulterior motives or a camera in his office, or if he’s just a really understanding guy, but one way or another it seems that my friend has found a great way to manage her stress level. There are so many different ailments that are relieved by a simple orgasm.
My favorite ailment to fix with sex (preferably with another person) is a headache. Headaches disappear for me immediately after my sexual romp comes to fruition. I dated a guy for a while who would pester me into having sex with him whenever I had a headache. He knew it was the only surefire cure for my pain, and surely, I would thank him profusely after my headache was eradicated.
Also, for those of you who don’t know this, orgasm (for me, sex with another person works best) cures menstrual cramps. It’s amazing; have a little shower sex and the pain disappears along with most of the crankiness.
Therefore, gentlemen, next time you are complaining about your girl having PMS, shut your trap and give her the orgasm she so badly deserves. Trust me, she’s screwed you to shut you up.
Fortunately, orgasm relieves some of the sinus pressure associated with sinus infections and colds. Unfortunately, it’s not easy to find someone willing to chance getting that cold. Also, sniffling isn’t sexy, and normally one does not have the energy for a DIY session. In these instances, it is unpleasant to know what the cure is but also know that you simply don't have the energy to cure yourself.
I have one final rumination. Why do women use, “I have a headache” to get out of sex? If headaches are often cured by orgasm (although I am assuming these women aren’t having many orgasms), why would a woman try to use that as an excuse? Why don’t they use, “I think I have the herp?” That would work every time.
Orgasm is an amazing relief from almost anything that ails you: headache, stress, crabbiness (but not crabs), cramps, even sinus pressure. Now, I’m not saying that sex will cure you, but it really can help. Unless of course the ailment you are suffering from is an STD — then sex will do more harm than good.
One way or another, the next time you are suffering from a common ailment, try orgasm as a cure before anything else. After all, orgasm is (usually) free.


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