A film as empty as its theater
‘Gridiron Gang’ lets the whole team down
By Sean Quast
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Even the Rock gets some good acting moments in — once in a while. Like did you know that the Rock can actually cry?
If I were to write this review like the film “Gridiron Gang” was actually presented then every other sentence would be typed in slow motion. It—would—be—just—like—this—and—it—would—take—two—hours—to—read—it.
Nope, it’s still not enough.
I would also have the words “Under Armor” would appear in between every sentence just like so. Under Armor. Maybe then the one would understand just what the film was all about. Under Armor.
Starting—to—get—the—point—now. Under Armor. Good, we’re making progress. Under Armor.
This film is Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s first endeavor into the world of dramatic, not action filmmaking. How did he do? Well, judging by the theater-going population when I was in the theater, not so well, seeing as I and A&E Editor Tyler Gaskill were the only people present in the 500-plus seat theater.
The film’s plot moves at an excruciatingly slow pace at the beginning of the film. It takes forever for the Rock and his group of juvenile delinquents to get the team going.
Then the second half of goes off like a rocket, but not quite. The seconds half of the films pace goes so incredibly fast that the filmmakers decided that 70 percent of it had to be shot in slow-motion.
Like most teen-football films, the cast of the “The Gridiron Gang” seems a little too old for the teenagers they are supposed to be playing. But they do a fine job portraying some of the most whiny gang members ever.
Even the Rock gets some good acting moments in — once in a while. Like did you know that the Rock can actually cry? I swear he does it in this film. What’s next: Vin Desiel loves to hug puppies?
The story for “Gridiron Gang” was predictable to say, it’s not like anything unexpected happened. Although some plot elements didn’t happen when one thinks they would. And the beginning of the film set up a character way too much only to kill him shortly there after.
The most cheating element of the story comes at the end of the film, when the credits are rolling. “Gridiron Gang” is based on actual the actual events of the Mustang football team in California.
During the credits, clips from a documentary about the real Mustang team are shown. The Rock’s character is Sean Porter and yet you come to find out that Poster is a white guy, with a Jerry Curl mullet.
How dare the filmmakers and the Rock not honor the real Porter and fashion his hair into sweet mullet. Be true to the story Rock, please, be true to the story. Is it that hard to have them put in Jerry Curl mullet hair plugs?
“Gridiron Gang,” as far as a real story, is inspirational, but this film leaves one depressed and wondering how many thousands of Under Armor logos did they just see.
It would be wise to skip this film and go see anything else. Like everyone else on the planet did when we were actually watching it. Under Armor.



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