Now I have a small fortune of student loans to cushion my rock bottom.

By Jamie Fawn Mesich (née Cortney)

After hundreds of plates of Moons Over My Hammy and a black sea of coffee (with a couple of ice chunks fished from my water glass), I finally received my graduation pin from the dean of the College of Nursing.

Suddenly, "I can't wait until I can have a life again," was slapped down on the table, along with rent, phone, car and all my other bills. Now I have a small fortune of student loans to cushion my rock bottom.

It is very hard to work and pay a few grand for tuition each semester — never mind find time to attend class and do homework all in one day, every day. It is also no surprise to most people that when they make the decision to attend an institution of higher learning, they will be doing it on their own.

A small few were born with parents who offer to pay for school. It may be that they will require certain grades or a particular major from their kid — others maybe not. But as I said, only a few.

For some who were smart — either book smart or just intelligent enough to understand as early as high school that grades could equal cash some day — there is the option of scholarships. I will always have respect for those people. If you are a minority or a military kid, or if you suffered as a child because you were the poor kid (be ready to prove it) there are grants, but they don't cover much.

That's where loans are, waiting, ready to get you through the hard times, picking you up where all other avenues left you. Or at least that's what you think while you're still in deferment. As long as you are still attending school toward a degree (and about six months thereafter), you are not obligated to pay toward those loans. Some loans don't even accrue interest until you graduate or drop out.

You can focus on your studies with the comfort of knowing that Uncle Sam won't want you until you have accomplished something. But he'll be there sooner or later, whether you have a job/career, roof over your head or not. He will find you. He never forgets and he is never late.

If it sounds creepy, wait until you miss a payment. In fact, all I have left to do is work to pay minimums on those very loans, which were at one time my only source of income.

When I started school, I struggled through the prerequisites of three different majors before nursing. When I graduated, I had a ridiculous amount of credits — most of which did nothing for my degree in the end and all of which I will be paying for long after I retire.

I remember my first time ever receiving an award letter — rejoicing over every digit it revealed. Those numbers meant tuition, books, gas, maybe even a $1,000 car to last just long enough until the arrival of next year's award. Those numbers meant that I'd make it through another year, one year closer to real life.

And all I had to do was fill out the application (they were on paper when I started school). I never considered that one day I would be "having my life again" repaying those debts, along with the other necessaries.

Now I'm not saying that it wasn't worth being in debt. I have a great job at a hospital with a sign-on bonus (of which I'll get 30 percent or so, after taxes), and I even have a car that could get me all the way to Mexico if it should come down to that.

But if they ever asked, I would give my friends this advice: Consider taking only what you need when you have the option of changing your loan award.

Also, it wouldn't hurt to buy a lottery ticket.

Jamie Fawn Mesich (née Cortney) is a December 2005 UWM graduate.

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