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I’m never going to that movie with you
He likes Dane Cook. She likes Carrot Top. Where does the relationship go from there?
By Tyler Gaskill
Rolling Stones or The Beatles? “Star Wars: A New Hope” or “Empire Strikes Back”? Picasso or Pollock?
Our artistic tastes can be as coveted as our lives — and fought for twice as hard when someone refutes our opinions.
Since our personal movie, music and art libraries are so meaningful to us, can a relationship survive if the two parties stocked their mental shelves with opposing themes?
The timeless scenario is as follows:
You go out on a date, hit it off and maybe even encounter some not-so-subtle flirtations. As the night winds down, you end up back at home pumped full of pheromones and dirty thoughts. The go-getters attack the situation and go straight to the bedroom. The more timid might find themselves on the couch popping in a DVD. What movie do you choose? Does it matter?
You put in “The Fast and the Furious.” Suddenly, you see your potential significant other tense up as Paul Walker’s automaton-like performance ensues. The credits roll, and you lean over asking, “So, did you like it?”
At first, they not-so-convincingly lie, buttering up your beloved car flick. As you peruse their thoughts on movie, they snap and respond, “Of course not! It was like watching a never-ending car commercial with explosions and wooden puppets for actors. And how many times can crime dramas revisit the cliché plot of a cop that ‘is in too deep?’ I was ready to drink a pint of Pennzoil after the first minute just to end the pain!”
Soon the perverted urges subside and the self-righteous opinions spew out. You explain how street gearheads never had a movie aimed at their demographic and continue lecturing. Your date storms out of the apartment and you’re left with nothing but your outlook on true quality films.
Some would argue you should have compromised, or possibly shook it off. After all, they’re just preferences.
You think to yourself, “But my preferences are more than that. Alone they’re insignificant, but collectively they make up the fiber of my character. If my date can’t understand the brilliance of “The Fast and the Furious” then she can’t understand me. Besides that, how could we ever enjoy anything together?”
Your date was outside the door reading your thoughts, listening to your inner monologue. They burst back into your apartment screaming, “If you can’t get over trite differences like movie tastes, how do you expect to maintain a relationship at all? Relationships are built around selfless compromises and middle ground. Not because you’re settling for someone who’s too different, but because everyone disagrees at some point, and navigating those moments make or break your bond with one another.”
After the date’s Jerry Springer “final thought” is over, you respond, “What’s your favorite band?” The date says, “Radiohead.” You respond, “Me too!”
Five years later, you’re celebrating your first wedding anniversary, and you live happily ever after. The End.
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