I long for the days when all I had to do was get to class by 11 a.m. and I could be wearing sweatpants and reeking of booze from the night before.

It has been almost a year since I graduated from college. I proudly wore my gold cord as I sashayed across the stage and shook the chancellors hand. I was stepping off that stage as a college graduate, a huge accomplishment.

I worked incredibly hard to get there, working a part-time job, serving as the managing editor for Furrow, a columnist and the editorial editor for the UWM Post. I was confident I was going into the real world to become a success.

However, I am still working at the same place I worked for in college. It isnt for lack of trying, trust me. My resume has been sent out and is apparently collecting dust on Monster.com. Ive gone on job interviews that have gotten me nowhere.

I had this great lead at an advertising agency. They had a glamorous downtown office and I was really excited when they asked me to come and shadow for a day. But underneath that glossy veneer was the biggest scam Ive ever been put through.

The place really wasnt an advertising agency; I spent a day shadowing people selling coupon books door-to-door. On my list of terrible experiences, thats right up there with getting a tumor. And Ive had two of those.

Its tough out there. I dont have a career yet, but I am teaching creative writing workshops at Barnes & Noble which is a pretty sweet gig. It doesnt pay the bills, but at least my creative writing degree hasnt proven to be completely useless.

I long for the days when all I had to do was get to class by 11 a.m. and I could be wearing sweatpants and reeking of booze from the night before. I miss the excitement of class discussions, I miss being able to engage in intelligent conversations on a regular basis.

I miss the Gasthaus and all of my school friends. But most of all I miss the notion that the real world was a place I really wanted to be. The real world isnt that great. Im trying to make ends meet, I cant afford health insurance and my parents are no longer sympathetic when I need grocery money.

Stay in college. Never leave.

OK, I know that isnt realistic. Most of you are going to graduate to excellent job opportunities. Youll have benefits and a 401K. And the real world isnt that bad. It isnt much different from college.

You still have all the personal freedom you could ever want and you can show up somewhere the next day reeking of booze, but it isnt as socially acceptable as showing up still drunk to your underwater basket weaving class.

Use your time wisely. You are going to miss college. Oh sure, you think you arent going to miss the end of semester crack down of finals or all the homework. But if a 20 page paper was the only thing I had to worry about instead of where my health coverage was coming from, Id be a happy girl.

Youve got it good in college; you can blow off class when its nice out. You cant call in sick to work because its nice out and theyre saving a seat for you at the Nomad. Well you can, but thats generally frowned upon out in the real world.

Have fun. College seems like it might never end, and then you are so excited to graduate you forget about all that youve accomplished. You have a college degree and no one can take that away from you; be proud of yourself.

And always ask up front in job interviews if the position involves door-to-door selling in any way, shape or form, and if it does, run as fast as you can.

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