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College = $
Episode II of IV: Young Professionals
By Tyler Gaskill
While staring at no one in particular, he says, Hes my old college roommate from freshman and sophomore year!
This Episode II of IV of Tyler Gaskills allegorical exploration of greed versus sloth via the format of The Odd Couple.
Previously, in Episode I: Their freshmen year, former roommates Carl Mark and Adam Smith chose their majors and the fate of their lives! Carl graduated with a business major and Adam Smith picked one of those other majors. Five years laterâ?¦
Adam Smith watches the ballroom full of business people schmoozing at some insurance companys employee party hes catering.
The suits silverware moves with arthroscopic precision as they eat the food Adams coworkers prepared. He notices inhuman attention paid to manners “ faux pas kill any potential interoffice political agendas.
A sharp pain hits Adam in the back as one of the suits slaps him on the back and says with condescension, Hey pal. What do you say we get some more of those crab cakes out that you were carrin around on your tray? With his hand resting on Adams back, the Alpha-suit looks to his pack of martini-drinking crony-suits and nods.
A suit breaks from packs circular formation and says, Adam Smith?
The Alpha-suit yells with jowl-shaking disbelief, Wh-Whats the meaning of this... He pauses pointing at the outspoken crony-suit, Your name again?
Carl Mark, Sir! the crony-suit replies.
Alpha-suit continues, Why are you speaking out of turn, when I clearly have the crab cake situation under control?
Sir! Carls voice cracks. He quickly runs a black comb through his rigid crew cut. While staring at no one in particular, he says Hes my old college roommate from freshman and sophomore year!
Alpha suit replies, Dispense with the reminiscing. As the other suits walk away the Alpha-suit jabs his pointer in Adams chest and hisses, Im gonna get those crab cakes.
Carl brushes his three piece suit, adjusts his golden glasses, chuckles and says, So. What are you up to these days?
Adam puts down his tray and says, Isnt it obvious Carl? Im an astronaut “ just like to cater on the side. I see youre working in i-
Carl cuts Adam off, Did you happen to see who my date is?
Adam pauses and says, No, I didn-,
Carl cuts in yelling, Misty! Get over here!
Misty? Not Misty Doe from our graduating class. Carl leans towards Adam and whispers, Shes also my new secretary.
They watch Misty get up from the table at the back of the room and walk over. Adam straightens his apron, quickly licks the tips of his fingers and tucks his hair behind his ears. He recalls his epic romance with the one that got away.
Adam had approached Misty at her locker. She pulled her books free and pretended not to see the blonde shaggy-haired kid with the Star Wars T-shirt nervously approaching. Adams retainer slurred his speech when he said, HeyIreallylikeyou.Youwannadosomethingsometime? Misty pushed Adam to the ground and ran past screaming, Creep! I only date normys!
Carl came out of hiding around the corner, ran a comb through his side part and said, Dont worry. We can always buy a prostitute.
Adam shakes off the memory. Misty is sticking out her hand with a bored look. Before she introduces herself, Carl screams, You dont get a voice in this.
Adam shakes his head, Shameful.
Carl laughs and says, Well look at this. Ive got the girl, the party, and top-notch service.
Adam leans on a table, Carl, I didnt remember your name until you said it. Say? Is that an Armani suit?
You bet.
Sad, Adam replies. You still managed to conform, even when trying to stick out.
Carl frowns and taps his foot, Hows the writing career panning out for you, Adam? The moment Carl finishes saying Adams name, he loudly blurts, Oops, as he violently jerks his jacket pocket, causing a gold coin to fall to the floor.
What are you, Scrooge McDuck? Paying people in doubloons? asks Adam. He continues, Ive gotten about four short stories published in some small magazines. Im just trying to travel a lot before life gets too busy and enjoy being young. This pays the bills nicely until the writing takes off.
Carl explodes in laughter and repeatedly slams his foot into the floor, Woo! So basically, youre not making any money off the writing and youre using sight-seeing to justify your failure to wake up and join real world. Look at me, Carl points to himself. Im 24 and already a financial advisor at Hope Benefits Insurance.
Adam replies, Thanks, Dr. Phil.
Carl squeezes Misty closer, intensifying her bored stare, and says, You still dating that girl from sophomore year?
Adam picks up his tray in an attempt to escape the worthless conversation, Greta and I have been dating four years now. I gotta run, Carl.
Adam stops when he hears Is that Adam Smith and Carl Mark? Their old roommate, Lee, swooshes his khakis as he jogs over to shake their hands. Gasping, the now bulbous Lee gasps and dabs his forehead with a napkin and says, Wow, long time no see. I run this resort and saw you guys in here arguing “ just like old times.
Are you kidding, yells Carl. They let a slob like you run this place!
Lee is unphased by the insult, Yeah, I worked here part time and just kind of worked my way up. So what are guys up to these days?
Suddenly, Alpha-Suit sneaks behind Adam and pulls him inches from his face, I want those crab cakes.
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