My characters are all at max level; Im really just wasting time, delaying the inevitable.

I still have yet to beat Final Fantasy 7 (FF7). I know how crazy that sounds to all you video gamers out there.

All my dorky gaming friends take this as a huge shock. Being the self-promoted intellectual gamer that I am, they thought that it would be one of the first games I would have beaten in a matter of hours.

My simple response to why I havent ever beaten the game is that I dont want to give it up.

In my defense I never quit playing FF7. I still occasionally pop the FF7 disk in and spend quite a bit of time battling in sunken ship, morphing mobs into +1 stats items. My characters are all at max level; Im really just wasting time, delaying the inevitable.

I know that sometime soon I will have to beat it, but of course I have been saying that for three years now.

I just never want those first experiences I have had with the game to come to an end. It was the reason I bought a PlayStation. I was a Nintendo fanboy before that point. I branched out and tried a new system. I spent hours upon hours playing this game. I really enjoy the experience of playing it.

I have such fond memoirs of that game and have committed so much Im afraid that I will never want to play it again after I have experienced everything.

I know the end of the game, which was spoiled for me long ago, and I know it wont be a let down. Thats not what Im afraid of by beating the game.

I really didnt want to end my commitment to the game. Ive spent so much time making sure that I have done everything right. I just dont want my experience with the game to come to end.

My biggest fear is that I will never play the game again once I beat it. What will happen to my old and distressed FF7 disks once I have experienced everything they have to offer? I am just going to have to commit to still playing the game after I have finished it.

What it comes down to is my fear of commitment to the game as one of my favorites. I, along with everyone else, share this fear in a relationship.

Once someone fully commits to something they leave themselves open for numerous possibilities from rejection to boredom to abandonment. The important thing is to remember and experience and just take a “ gulp “ leap of faith. (I cant believe I just said that.)

Seriously, thats what I have learned from other RPGs, even though I put so much time into them initially. I still enjoy popping in some of my other favorites RPGs into my PS.

So why have I been so afraid in the past to make this leap with relationships? Dont know. Childhood fears, most likely.

But in the end, I dont think I will ever beat FF7 when I can always go back to it and still think there is more to do. But I still did learn my lesson from it and will honor that commitment as my first real long-term videogame relationship.

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