This minor hallucination is just one of the side effects that I attribute to the Iraq War. I was with the First Armored Division during the first occupational force from May 2003 until late July 2004. Before being in Iraq, I cannot note one time that I had hallucinations, obsessed over locks, or nervously twitched.

One trillion dollars buying bullets buying guns, sings the pro-peace band, Anti-Flag. Just ask any U.S. solider returning from Iraq; the effects of the Iraq War have more than just a monetary value.

Or you can just ask me.

I am an Army and Operation Iraqi Freedom veteran and I now have a nervous twitch, high anxiety and a mild form of OCD [obsessive compulsive disorder].

Experts are predicting that 15 percent of service members returning from Iraq and Afghanistan will suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). However, in my case, the Army does not think I have any problems.

Each day starts the same: waking up, showering and checking the weather forecast. The day differs from most peoples quite robotic routines when its time to go to class. Shutting the door and putting the key into the lock, lifting the tumblers and hearing the metallic click of the deadbolt going into place is not enough for me.

I must unlock the door and go through my apartment, grasping each light switch to ensure that each light is firmly off. Visual confirmation is no longer adequate enough to suppress feelings of dread. Satisfied that everything is off, I leave; locking the door once again, this time trying the handle twice just to make sure it is locked.

As the elevator dings on its way to my floor, a feeling of dread overwhelms me. Is the door locked? Maybe its half locked and a little jiggling will open it right up. If so, then there goes the brand new couch.

Sprinting down the hall so I dont miss my elevator, I try the handle a few more times and put my shoulder into the door to quadruple check. It was fine after the first time that the door was securely locked, but I still had a nagging sensation that the door will not stay locked. While riding down the elevator the unnerving feeling grabs hold again. However, this time it is dismissed because going back to my door again would make me late for class.

Once I get in the elevator I can convince myself that everything is locked, but I might have to drive back in 20 minutes to ensure that the door is still locked.

Every so often on the way to school, slabs of sidewalk start to move like a conveyer belt, not all, just one or two and it is always in a left to right motion. It only moves when I am on it; once I step off, it stops.

This minor hallucination is just one of the side effects that I attribute to the Iraq War. I was with the First Armored Division during the first occupational force from May 2003 until late July 2004. Before being in Iraq, I cannot note one time that I had hallucinations, obsessed over locks, or nervously twitched.

At school while sitting in class, my note-taking is suddenly interrupted by a sharp head turn and scrunching of the shoulders. To the casual observer it would seem like I had heard an odd noise. However, that is not the case. It is one of the most prominent side effects that I attribute to serving in the Iraq War.

These feelings are quite new to me, and have been steadily getting worse. They started appearing two years ago, a few months after returning safely from Iraq and receiving an honorable discharge.

I have been to different psychologists and study centers to see if I qualify for having PTSD. I have received only one result, a resounding no. One psychologist had no idea about PTSD; another said that I needed to put my faith into religion.

Finally, one psychologist decided to administer the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory-2 (MMPI-2) test. This test is generally used to determine if a person has a mental disorder. The test only reported that I have a high level of anxiety. Im not sure if I trust the test. It was designed for mental disorders, but PTSD is rather new, at least to the VA [Veteran Affairs].

With anxiety being the only thing clinically wrong with me, I have taken all the advice the doctors have given me. I have cut down on caffeine, quit smoking and rarely drink alcohol. The only symptom that has decreased is the moving sidewalks, while the OCD tendencies have increased.

The only thing that I havent done is talked about my experiences. I know that it will help me, but it is the hardest thing for me to do, and I dont know why.

Each day is different. Some days I check the lock three times instead of five. Sometimes I twitch every few minutes, and sometimes I twitch once every few hours. Some days these symptoms are almost non-existent, other days they can make me quite late.

But no matter what type of day it is, I continue moving forward despite my problems.

By Matt Schultz

Special to the Post

> Comments