Now Cosmo suggests women be slutty enough to keep a man aroused without becoming a whore. Luckily, Cosmo reporters investigate all the sex moves and positions so women can maintain a mans interest.

Unshaved armpits, pale skin, having two pairs of shoes, and only one way to please a man. No, this is not Eastern Europe; this was life before Cosmopolitan.

Cosmopolitan: the bible for teenage girls to learn to become a woman. For women, Cosmo is their last resort for finding Mr. Right, a monthly guide to save them from spinster doom. Cosmo offers more than just fashion advice; it is soup for the womans soul.

The magazine leads blind women everywhere to the light of catching a husband. With a husband, a woman is half way to her ultimate life goal. Raising her husbands kids until they are old enough to go to boarding school is the second part of a womans destiny.

Women, you should only marry rich, handsome lawyers, doctors or CEOs. Do not waste your time on the middle-management type or the sensitive artist/writer. If you feel patriotic, women may choose a firefighter, policeman or soldier.

Now Cosmo suggests women be slutty enough to keep a man aroused without becoming a whore. Luckily, Cosmo reporters investigate all the sex moves and positions so women can maintain a mans interest. Last month, there was an article naming 10 moves he cannot resist. This month introduces 101 new ways to spice things up in the bedroom. Hopefully, the tips will last until next months edition.

Females, sleeping with your boss is acceptable because he probably makes more money than you do so he can spend his salary on you. Your boss can save you from your humdrum work life. Ladies, you can quit work so your sole job will be a baby-maker. Just imagine little Charlie and Daisy gracefully coming from your loins. Cosmo assures us that labor is pain free so forget the drugs.

Cosmo helps a girl to develop socially and overcome awkward situations. It assists girls on how to act around the opposite sex. One: do not let onto a guy as to how smart you are. Guys have too much competition with other guys; they do not need to hear anything from you. Two: do not constantly talk about yourself; all they care about is your body. Three: buy a subscription to find out more. The magazine also gives proper etiquette when your gag reflex acts up and you vomit on a guy.

Cosmo even aids in womens health and diet. Women, to prove your willpower, try to eat as little as possible. The boney look is in because having bones is a good thing so show your bones off. Plus, men get aroused when their girlfriends can blow away in the wind. It has something to do with the different pheromones in the body.

Society could not function without Cosmo. Think about all the money saved because girls would have to take classes to learn the things taught in the magazine. God bless Cosmo!

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