If The Danes comedy stylings werent so versatile, we never would have started our beef.

Popular comedian Dane Cook has millions of fans around college campuses all across the country, but former best friends and University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee freshmen Chad McNulty and Steve Rawls said that Cook is responsible for destroying their friendship.

The incident occurred last Saturday night at a house party approximately two blocks south of campus at a house on Maryland Avenue. After a particularly grueling game of beer pong, the two sat down on the couch and watched a replay of Cooks Vicious Circle HBO special.

So me and Chad were just chillin and having a couple brewskis when he says that Dane Cooks totally hilarious, Rawls said.

And Im all what the hell, dude? Everyone knows DC is awesomely funny, not totally hilarious.

According to mutual friend Charles Brice, what started as a light-hearted argument about how best to describe Cooks comedy soon devolved into a nasty war of words.

Oh dude, it was crazy, Brice said. I seriously thought they were gonna throw down, yo.

According to reports of the incident, tempers began to flare after McNulty told Rawls that his band, Football, sucked major balls and had a retarded name.

Rawls then told McNulty that his preferred brand of First Move Tag Body Spray was a completely whack fragrance, bro.

McNulty responded that Jen (Pearlman, Rawls girlfriend of three months) thought it smelled good enough, if you know what I mean.

He then clarified that what he meant was that sexual relations took place between himself and Pearlman.

It was at this point that Rawls stormed out of the party, even though he had promised earlier to turn this motha out until the kegs tapped.

Since the Saturday incident, the two have not spoken to each other. But both blame Cook for indirectly splitting up their friendship.

If The Danes comedy stylings werent so versatile, we never would have started our beef, McNulty said.

Rawls agrees.

I almost want to say its DCs fault for being so genius. I mean, if he wasnt so great, this whole thing never wouldve happened.

Rawls then went on to add, But whatever, Chads a total d-bag anyway. And I cant stay mad at Danes genius.

While the two have vowed never to speak to each other, there is still the issue of McNultys Xbox, which along with a copy of Halo 2 and Madden NFL 2007, is currently in Rawls dorm room.

When asked to comment on any possible role he may have had in the breaking up of this friendship, Cook issued the following statement while flailing his limbs and running around in a circle.

You know how friends sometimes disagree about stuff and youre all Whatever dude and hes all YEAH! And you go Oh yeah, dude? and he goes YEEEEAAAAHHHH! Thats weird like that.

By Ronaldinho Gaucho

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