He made me call him Barbaro when we made love and kept asking if I wanted his sea biscuit. I feel so violated.

University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee Police sent out an urgent message early this week warning undergraduate females at UWM to be on the lookout for a college-aged man known simply as the Stallion.

According to several reports, the Stallion has been terrorizing local dormitories and house parties alike with sexually inept behavior, using his suave charm and stunningly handsome good looks to make the ladies swoon.

He has been known to use irresistibly sexy lines such as, I lost my phone number, can I have yours? and I only have three months to live.

The stallion is known to leave cute and clever glitter comments on unsuspecting girls“ MySpace pages as well. He also targets drunks.

But when things begin to get hot and steamy, it all starts to go downhill, often with disastrous and soul-crushing results.

He kept calling me his faithful mare when we were in the moment, it was kind of creepy, said UWM student Jackie Openhaus. I haven“t had the courage to get with anyone else since. I hope all guys aren“t crazy like that.

Other trademarks of his sexual inadequacy and bizarre behavior may include excessive nipple chomping, slop tongue and an insatiable ego befitting a sexual beast.

He made me call him Barbaro when we made love and kept asking if I wanted his sea biscuit. It was pretty surreal. I feel so violated, said a freshman who wished to keep her identity secret. He needs to be stopped, she added.

Late-night drunken text messages asking to hang out or to come watch a movie and chill are also seemingly innocent, trademark advances made by the Stallion.

While his true identity is still a mystery, there are some warning signs that may signify you are in the presence of this notorious manimal.

The Stallion is well known for his laziness and will never drive you home after a night of unsatisfying sexual debauchery, even if you live really far away.

That“s what your UPass is for honey, he is rumored to have said to some unlucky gal before going back to sleep on his futon. Enjoy your walk of shame!

He also believes that the G-spot is a myth, and has an unnatural passion for the series of Rocky movies.

If you have been victimized by the Stallion or have any information on this mysterious and savage sex-a-holic, please call the Stallion hotline at (414) 420-6969.

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