Ive been waiting 24 years for MTV to just publish a weekly brochure outlining their criteria for coolness. Its hard to ridicule someone for being different when you cant tell if theyre a normy or a loser.

The Real World. People ages 18 to 26 can all agree that MTVs annual six-month documentary truly encapsulates daily American life.

We tune-in to a group of beautiful horny drunks, living free-of-charge in a mansion in a large city. Viewers unanimously declare, This is the real world.

If you had to tell someone what the point of the show was, what would you say? The point of the show is to watch seven strangers become Best Friends Forever (BFFs), right?

If thats the case, The Real World: Denver producers knew theyd found two future BFFs in cast members Stephen and Davis.

MTV.com offers this description for Stephen: A conservative republican who is against gay marriage, Stephen can be quite outspoken, but also deeply religious.

Unless youve been too busy getting in your 10 prayers a day, its a known fact that religious types keep to themselves (see: Crusades 1095-1291 and Stem Cell research debates). Stephens roommate, Davis, shares a similar church-loving background.

Heres the description MTV has for Davis: Davis is the typical blonde-haired, blue-eyed, frat boy. Or is he? â?¦ Davis is gay. He first realized this in sixth grade, and came out to his mom a few years later.

I know, I know, its a misleading advertisement. Right when you think MTV finally simplified things by giving us a description of the master race of hipness, they go and ruin it. Ive been waiting 24 years for MTV to just publish a weekly brochure outlining their criteria for coolness. Its hard to ridicule someone for being different when you cant tell if theyre a normy or a loser.

From an outside view, you would think these personalities would be inseparable. You can see them hitting the clubs together and socializing about their hometown sports teams. Unfortunately, this pairing suffers the same fate as BFFs, John and David, from Real World season two.

For those of you too young to remember the golden era of The Real World, John was a southern, country-singing, 10-gallon-hat-wearing, Confederate-flag-loving cowboy. David was Johns fun-loving, joke-cracking, black comedian roommate. When John asked David if he could put up a Confederate flag in their room, the relationship went sour.

Its an all-too-typical situation. Because someone brought an ideological symbol that approved of slavery into the sandbox, the two cant play nice.

The show is engineered like a bomb. The producers threw a mix of unstable chemicals into a beaker, and added nine parts alcohol and one part close-quarters living. This causes cast meltdowns that put Three Mile Island to shame.

This seasons hopeful BFFs, Stephen and Davis, quarreled over the topic of gay marriage, leading to a meltdown. It wasnt a Real World: Vegas sized meltdown, but it was still significant.

The Real World could benefit from a Thunderdome cage. Two men enter, one man leaves.

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