You are essentially being told that you are not worth anything unless you are paired up.

We live in a culture that feels this dumb need to sell everything back to us. We were sold patriotism for $9.95 after Sept. 11 (you people are idiots by the way), and this week you“re being sold love, probably even as you“re reading this. You are essentially being told that you are not worth anything unless you are paired up.

I disagree. I think that viewpoint is narrow-minded and stupid and I feel the same way about anyone who buys into it. If you don“t have any feeling of self-worth without another person“s genitalia to validate you then you should seek psychiatric help immediately, you should not be looking for a relationship.

How many of you are in relationships right now that just aren“t working? Do you want to get it over with? My next question is: How many of you are still going out with that person on Valentine“s Day? I“m betting a lot of hands are raised, and here is where my argument comes into focus. Did your parents ever ask you if you“d jump off a bridge if your best friend did it too? To those of you that said no, and are still going out on Wednesday night, I“m sorry, but you lied to your mom. For shame.

Our culture demands that everybody be paired up. That“s why people watch these ridiculous television shows about the love lives of people they“ve never met. That“s why they still turn on Fox to watch a bunch of idiots prostitute themselves for love (money).

And the problem isn“t the networks or the magazine companies, it“s you. You still bought into it, so they“re still selling it to you. Right now you can go to any specialty bookstore and find books on how to find love; New Age supply stores will tell you how to make a person fall in love with you â?¦ the list goes on and on. And it“s unfair, because I don“t think that being single is that bad.

My last relationship went a little like this: I met someone, we clicked, we fell in love, we got groin-y, she noticed that I don“t like to dress up, I noticed her toothbrush on one of my art projects one too many times. Before we knew it we were that bored couple sitting in a corner not talking to each other, but still together because we were petrified of being alone.

It really is a lot of trouble, and the only reason that most of us keep going through it is because people act like there is something wrong with you if you are single.

Now don“t get me wrong, I have nothing against love. Bravo to the happy couples out there who are rolling their eyes at these words and calling me a jackass.

My issue is that culturally mandated love isn“t love at all, it“s fulfilling an obligation. Most of us lose our virginity with people we aren“t really that interested in because society told us that“s what we have to do, and if we don“t meet the deadline (high school graduation), then we are branded for life.

You don“t get laid by college, you“re never getting laid. The film “American Pie” was based completely around this stupid idea.

And guess what? The only one of the main characters who came even close to getting it right was the guy who didn“t tell his friends he“d had sex the night before (it was obvious that he had). And he was the most pathetic of them all at the beginning of the movie!

Your love lives and your sex lives are your own business. If you are the hopeless romantic type who buys your significant other flowers, awesome, the world needs more lovers anyway. But don“t do it because the rest of the world has told you that today you have to do it. That“s not love, folks; that“s barely even like.

Think for yourself, you“re not a robot. Don“t let society treat you like one.

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