Mario kept finding girl after girl in each castle, but he was still driven to keep looking for the girl he knew was the one. Sure, all those false princesses looked like Peach, but Mario taught me you should always pursue Mario kept finding girl after girl in each castle, but he was still driven to keep looking for the girl he knew was the one. Sure, all those false princesses looked like Peach, but Mario taught me you should always pursue what your heart desires.

Being single sucks “ flat-out down-right craptastic is what it is.

As much as I love my relationship with personal freedom, there is only so much time that I can spend running Mario through the Mushroom Kingdom before the constant search for Mario“s perfect girl begins to gnaw at my mind.

Yes, I like video games a whole, whole lot. And not having a significant other at the moment to interrupt my time with them means I know them back, forth and in and out.

Guess what I“ve learned from these games, besides the sweet infinite lives koopa shell trick?

They taught me almost everything I know about dating or, more specifically, getting the right girl. That“s right, laugh it up, but some of you know what I am talking about.

Video games have been teaching me this vital information since I was around the age of 8. I“ve had more of this media than any other. Some people learned their lessons from parents, TV or books. But not me or most guys who had a controller trapped in their hands.

The first game most of us played featured the first video game icon and general “playa,” Mario, be it in “Super Mario Bros.” 1, 2 or 3, or even games like “Mario Kart,” “Mario 64” or “Mario Tennis.”

Mario is now always seen with his female counter part, Princess Peach. Don“t they look happy as a couple, taking care of Baby Mario, who is not their offspring, but a younger version of Mario?

What a really creepy family they have there. Look: We“re raising a younger version of myself.

But, there was a time when Mario and the Princess weren“t an item. If one follows the Mario storyline (Note: I said Mario and not the carpenter character who looks like Mario and plays with monkeys) to its origins, Mario was chasing after a girl who he didn“t know. It was a true fairy tale, like “Cinderella,” but for boys.

“Super Mario Bros.” was all about Mario saving Princess (Peach) Toadstool, the princess he“d never met from a magical land, where holding a flower would change you in to a Sunday best white outfit.

You worked diligently as Mario, much as we all do in our real lives. We jump through many hoops chasing our dream date.

But Mario wasn“t without disappointment, and he found seven wrong girls in seven wrong castles.

Mario kept finding girl after girl in each castle, but he was still driven to keep looking for the girl he knew was the one. Sure, all those false princesses looked like Peach, but Mario taught me you should always pursue what your heart desires.

The first time one gets to that false princess, they are so happy to see that girl there, but then the moment is shattered by that bastard Toad and his stupid saying, "Thank you Mario! But our princess is in another castle!"

That bastard! All my hard work down the warp tubes! Why the hell did I waste seconds of the game to get six fireworks on each level?

Why did I go down that extra tube to get more coins to spend on her? Seriously, is there a better representation of real life dating than that phrase?

Each time a relationship starts up it“s all flowers and stars. Realize that this ain“t the person they“ve been jumping through tubes for. Mario had some serious convictions stick and pursue a girl he“s never met.

But this game has taught me to stick with it and keep searching. At some point we will find the right princess in the right castle.

But I guess that“s why we all go back at it after coming to the wrong conclusion again and again. The idea or hope that there is someone waiting in that last castle is what makes us run past each fire-breathing Bowser and destroy the bridge under his giant dinosaur-like feet.

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