There are a lot of things in this world that I have never quite learned to understand or accept.

I don’t quite get the idea behind gum or WWE or silk sheets, but I learned to deal with the fact that other people enjoy these things. Cheating: now that’s an entirely different story.

I have known cheaters and cheatees in my life and I have respected neither. I can, to a certain point, accept that people can slip up once. No one has an excuse for chronic cheating besides being an ass. Too many people try to claim that they simply aren’t built for monogamy, but they still promise to be faithful.

Perhaps this is a problem from both sides. When someone tells you that s/he isn’t good at monogamy, listen and accept the fact that this person will never be faithful. People who don’t, can’t, haven’t, wouldn’t cheat often are in denial that they will ever be cheated on. Unfortunately, loyal people get cheated on all of the time. I know quite a few cheaters who even claim that they were on the straight and narrow until they themselves were cheated on. I have heard many a cheater say, “Everyone cheats nowadays. Who cares?”

I do.

I think that cheating is the most trashy and shallow thing one person can do to another. If you want to sleep with other people, find someone who feels like you do and have an open relationship. The problem with that scenario is that most people want to sleep around but don’t want their significant other doing so.

Ridiculous!

I have absolutely no problem with the theory of an open relationship, but I have found that they very rarely work in practice. Someone always gets jealous or decides that s/he wants to be exclusive after all. I made this mistake once. I tried to be in an open relationship.

As I previously stated, I have no problem with the theory of an open relationship. Because of this and the fact that the guy I was dating is a sex addict, I thought I would be able to manage to be in an open relationship as long as I set some ground rules. Three simple rules that could not be followed were the death of my only open relationship.

One, I did not want to see it. Two, he must use condoms. Three, the girls could not sleep at his house.

I did not think that these simple rules would be so difficult to follow. At the same time I didn’t take into account the fact that my ex is completely socially inept and without common courtesy. In the end, I was cheated on in my mind. Because my ex couldn’t follow the simple guidelines, I consider that cheating.

When getting laid by a random person comes ahead of your respect for your partner, that is cheating. The situation worked out for me in the end, though. I am simply not built to be in an open relationship. I have not and never could cheat or have sex with someone else if I am in a relationship, even if it is an “open relationship.” I was not being fair to myself or my ex when I said I would be OK with him having sex with other people. I was not OK with it.

There are many people who are not okay with deviating from monogamy. I know quite a few. If you don’t want to be monogamous, say so. If you don’t want to sleep with other people and are not OK with your partner doing so, say so. Relationships are about communication and respect.

No one respects a liar.

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