Fact or fiction?
By Diego Costa
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The stereotypes permeating the lesbian world are, in a way, the opposite of those that (mis)represent gay men. Gay guys dress well, dance well and are prima donnas. Gay women have no sense of fashion, dance like Ellen and feel comfortable wearing a tool belt. While it may be easy to slap on one-dimensional notions of extreme masculinity and extreme femininity onto these categories, it may just be that all is a spectrum. Like heterosexuality — and truth.
| GENERAL STEREOTYPE | CLOSER TO THE TRUTH |
|---|---|
| Lesbians are “mannish” or “butch” women who want to be, or who think they are, men. | Some lesbians are butch or more masculine in appearance and some aren’t. Most women who identify as lesbians do not consider themselves to be “like men,” but rather, women who love women and who, in so doing, actually challenge patriarchal, heterosexual notions of love and gender. |
| Lesbians wear flannel shirts and Birkenstock sandals and sport mullet hairstyles. | Some do, some don’t. Some lesbians are more androgynous in their gender expression, some are more feminine and some dress in clothing typically read as “male.” |
| Lesbians are good at sports and know how to fix things, especially cars. | Again, some lesbians are athletic, some lesbians are not. And not all lesbians know how to fix cars or use power tools. A major goal of the lesbian movement is to provide options for women — to tell lesbians that women could do anything. And that things like sports and fixing cars should not just be male domains. |
| Lesbians hate men (hence the term “man-hating lesbian”). | This is actually very far from the truth. For the vast majority of lesbians, men have nothing to do with their identity as a lesbian. Lesbians have fathers, brothers, friends and sons and often work in coalition with men on a variety of issues. And it has been said that heterosexual women are the ones who spend more time complaining about men! |
| Lesbians are women who just need “the right man” to come along. Lesbians are women who “can’t get a man.” Lesbians are women who have been hurt by men and, therefore, turn to other women. | These are classic psychological myths and theories about lesbians and all of them are false. Lesbians are women who discover that they feel more emotionally connected with and sexually attracted to other women and realize that they want to give their love, energy and commitment to them. Lesbians are women who love women because they love women, not because they can’t get, or are afraid of, men. |
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