Men I know have more frequently been whining about finding “the one”

Men have been known to be resistant to commitment and have referred to marriage as the “M” word. Recently the tables seem to have turned, making men the ones who are in a hurry to find lasting commitment.

When did this happen? A few of my girlfriends and I have encountered this cultural phenomenon repeatedly, which convinces us that men who have grown biological clocks have become the norm.

Whatever happened to dating someone, having fun and becoming deeply committed someday down the road? After time in a relationship, it is acceptable to mention marriage, even children.

Men I know have more frequently been whining about finding “the one.” This makes me wonder if the gender roles have reversed.

A girlfriend of mine who is just beginning her career, recently found herself dating a man with a biological clock. They had been dating only a short time when this man confessed his desire for marriage and children. This frightened my friend, because she liked this man very much, but doesn’t want to settle down right now.

“Why did he have to go and mention marriage and kids and mess it all up? We were having so much fun together!”

She wants her career and her life first. She is in her mid-20s, kind and fun, but just doesn’t know if, or when, she will be ready to settle down. “Someday, down the road, I may want these things, but …”

I have also encountered this type of guy. They don’t necessarily seem needy as much as impatient. In this world of instant mashed potatoes, one-hour photos and 10-minute oil changes, have we become incapable of waiting it out?

If instant gratification is in, is the next step 30-second getting-to-know-you dating?

I am also guilty of this, but not as much as men I’ve met recently. During a first meeting, I don’t want to hear about how many children you want or whether the Milwaukee school district will be sufficient when your 2 1/2 children are ready to be educated.

What kind of music do you like? Are you from Wisconsin? I want to know what you do for a living, but that’s as much of a life plan I want to hear from a man I just met.

If I haven’t yet decided if I want to go on a date with you, what’s the point of discussing what flowers should be at a wedding? Don’t get me wrong, I know women whose primary thought is marriage, but men have started to fall into that category at an alarming rate. I find this frightening.

After all these years, I thought I had the dating scene figured out. All of a sudden this new breed of men started infiltrating society and I have to readjust. I will never be the girl who brings her 10-year plan to a first date or discuss whether or not I like children with a man I just met. I grew up hearing that dating was just that: dating.

After you get to know a person, yes, discuss children, summer homes, and church weddings. If you bring up the subject of a future together too early, you’re assuming too much about what your date wants. You know what they say about when people assume.

Leave the blueprints of your life home on a first date. Dating is scary enough without having to worry about how fit you are to be a parent.

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