In today’s world of dating, sex and traditional gender roles being thwarted, finding someone interesting to spend time with is a challenge.

This is why when I was recently told that there is a guy who has a crush on me, I said, “Well, hell, why doesn’t he talk to me?”

The man who digs me and I have never met. A mutual bartender informed me of this man’s existence.

I never would have known had this bartender friend not mentioned it. According to my friend, this “very attractive man” asked about me a few months ago.

At the time of the inquiry, I was preoccupied by a man I would later find to be the devil incarnate (Have you ever seen “Meet Joe Black”? That devil is a charmer).

The bartender told the man that although I’m “cool,” I was taken. Apparently, this man was in the bar while I was recently. Again this man asked about me. The bartender told him I am now indeed single, and that although he only knows me from the bar, I’m a fun person.

I asked my friend why this man had never spoken to me. Anyone I know would tell you that I am very easy to talk to, especially if there are cocktails involved.

I know that to some I appear quite intimidating. I usually wear heels and am already somewhat tall. I wear dresses and generally have what people would refer to as an unfriendly expression. I call it guarded.

I guess after all of these years, with all of the people I know, I can’t understand why someone wouldn’t just make casual conversation. The least you’ll get out of me is stimulating conversation. Who knows what could develop?

I have heard the man is in the “industry,” as am I. This is short for service industry, not to be confused with porn industry. Now I must wonder how it is possible that I have never met a “very attractive” bartender in Milwaukee, or how he hasn’t met me.

The industry in Milwaukee is like a family — a big, loving, needs-to-go-on-Springer, incestuous family — but a family nonetheless. Everyone knows each other, and since we are generally on similar work schedules, we drink, party and have sex with each other.

For a 9-to-5er to date a bartender is horrendous on both lifestyles, so many of us find solace in each other.

That brings me back to my admirer. If he is a bartender, how is it possible that he could be shy? Perhaps he is a transplant from elsewhere in the country, which would explain why we’ve never met — but shy?

I don’t know very many shy bartenders. As a matter of fact, I know not one. If one is shy, he will never last in this industry. If you managed to start off shy, dealing with drunks day in and day out will surely bring you out of your shell.

There is a part of me that is hopeful about this guy, another part keeps screaming, “You know better!” When will I learn not to have high expectations for men, moments, friends and life? Never.

Although I am often disappointed, I would rather live anticipating the best than always having a pessimistic attitude.

I am realistic. Logically, I know the chances of this guy being my white knight are very slim, but the romantic in me wants to think that he is out there. I want to believe that he will be as into me as I am into him, will be intelligent and driven, and loyal.

OK, admirer, bring it on, I’m ready for you.

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