To discover that the person you loved or still do love is now sleeping with someone else leaves you feeling horrible.

The inevitable is that when two people leave a relationship, they will eventually meet someone else. You want to be the first to move on and it is somewhat depressing when you don’t get there first.

All of those small, intimate moments that you shared with that person are gone. Someone else is now having those special moments and good times with the person who used to make you incredibly, ridiculously happy.

And I think that is the hardest part, knowing that someone else is having those moments. Someone else is getting to watch them fall asleep at night.

Sure, it may just be one of life’s emotional hurdles, but to discover that the person you loved or still do love is now sleeping with someone else leaves you feeling horrible. You wonder why you weren’t good enough. Your self-doubt is magnetized.

And in some cases, this new person may not be remotely as attractive as you are. Yes, it seems vain and petty. And you can’t win.

If they are better looking than you, you hate them. If they are less attractive than you are, you’re still going to hate them. OK, hate is a strong word. Let’s say “resent them profusely” instead.

My brother and his long-term girlfriend recently broke up. She seemed to have gotten over him instantaneously and found someone new. And, apparently lacking common sense, has been parading her new guy around.

That’s just cruel. While it is common knowledge that relationships end and that mourning a relationship that didn’t work is difficult, you don’t need to be spiteful and immature about it.

I suggest tact. Whether it was you or the other person who moved on first, be respectful. Relationships and love are brutal sometimes.

Perhaps you want revenge. Or you want your ex to eat his or her heart out. Or you are just plain spiteful. Just don’t flaunt your new significant other.

Sure, you may feel better about yourself for a moment and it may feel really good to make your ex feel like crap, but you’re probably going to feel worse about it in the end.

While it may make me feel good to call the person I was left for “fugly,” it doesn’t make anything better. The person who left me is still choosing that girl over me and I shouldn’t call either of them names simply to make myself feel better.

What he has done is not rub it in my face. That is tact. That shows his respect for what we had and that he doesn’t want to make things any more difficult for me. If I would have met someone else, I would have done the same thing.

You need to respect the relationship you had with someone, no matter if they play a present or past role in your life.

While relationships end, we shouldn’t let our human decency disappear. When dealing with hearts, it is best to be the better person. Do not try to intentionally hurt the people you love, or loved.

Tenses don’t really matter. There was love there once, and whatever the case, move on gracefully.

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