When you are in love with your partner, you go out of the way to please each other, paying attention to the small details. The sex soon becomes perfect. When you and your lover part ways, the sex you have with other people is rebound sex, which is never as good, at no fault of the reboundee.

My question is: When does the sex stop being rebound and go back to being sex?

My ex complains that he shows up in my column almost every week. Sorry, papi, you dated a writer. My ex and I had phenomenal sex every time. We were extremely compatible, sexually and otherwise. I never felt embarrassed in front of him, nor did I hesitate to tell him what I wanted.

In my eyes, this is a perfect relationship. As I have a bad habit of holding on to things long after they’re gone, I am holding on to my last love and lover. It has been over two months since he and I broke up. I have been asked out on multiple dates, but I am simply not interested. Yesterday, sans makeup or contacts, a happily married man told me I am a “10.” He just felt I should know.

I have had sex with a couple of men since he and I broke up, but I just wasn’t into it. The men I was with were good lovers, attentive and kind men. Unfortunately, my head was somewhere else. When one’s head is not in it, how is one supposed to enjoy herself? I have tried moving on, even flirting with a bartender I liked before I met my ex. The bartender knows my ex, so I don’t think he’ll ever buy the “I’m over him” line.

My ex and I are still civil, and we see each other out pretty often. I try to play it off like it’s a casual meeting and that it doesn’t kill me just a little, but he knows me better than that. He is in my head constantly, for I always thought we’d end up together in the end. I think of him at least once a day and always hope to run into him (especially when I’m looking fabulous).

When does my life go back to normal? I would like to be able to have sex again, maybe even a regular lover. I can’t do that now, because if I can’t finish, what’s the point?

I would love to have him out of my head so I can move on with my sex life. I don’t have time to date. I definitely don’t have time for a boyfriend. I’m not looking for love.

I want to be able to have sex again, preferably sex that results in orgasms, or at least in one for me. I am not a patient person, but perhaps my problem is that I never give myself enough healing time.

I got over my last love by falling in love with this one. I am a hardcore romantic, despite my hard shell of an exterior. I want someone to care about how he touches my skin and what makes me melt.

Do I ask too much by wanting to wait for a guy who doesn’t just touch me the way other girls liked? I do miss my ex, but more than that, I want to know that I’ll feel that way again.

Sex is easy. Good sex is a little more difficult. Love is hard to find in today’s world. The hardest thing to find is someone who is sexually compatible with you, loves you, wants to be with you and gives good head.

The disappointment of coming to the realization that I was mistaken in thinking I had found it all was just too hard to bear. I don’t know if sex is what I need, or if finishing my degree and moving to another continent is the best bet. For now, I’ll stick with missing him, masturbating and studying hard. I need a dating break.

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