Imagine this: you have finally convinced the floor hottie into coming over and spending some quality time in your tuna can of a room. You are both sitting on the futon under your loft watching some TV hit. So what are you going to eat?

You stroll over to your mini fridge and ask whether the hottie would like a Ham and Cheese Hot Pocket or Banquet Chicken dinner.

Congratulations you royal boob, what a better way to kill the mood than offer up some of the most disturbing food known to mankind.

I know the powers that be won’t let you use anything more dangerous than an Easy Bake Oven to make meals, but that doesn’t mean you have to eat like a 7-year-old.

Believe it or not, the microwave can be a pretty powerful cooking utensil. The scientists who created the microwave knew its cooking potential, unfortunately years of popcorn making and reheating coffee have left the microwave as more of a sibling to the toaster than a life-mate to the oven.

What you need are some surefire recipes that use only that 700-watt box of glory.

These three recipes that have been tested for hottie approval — well, not really, unless you think that I’m a floor hottie (then they were).

Breakfast Quiche

Serves 4 to 8 starving students

This first recipe is one of my favorite all-time breakfast recipes, an easy-to-make quiche (that’s an egg pie for those of you who don’t celebrate brunch). This will require two major cooking dishes: a nine-inch glass pie pan and a two-quart glass bowl both microwave safe.

Ingredients

1 pre-made frozen deep dish piecrust (remove metal pie tin)

4-5 large eggs

1/4 cup heavy cream

2 tbsp Worchester sauce

3/4 cup of shredded cheese (your choice)

1/2 cup crumbled microwave bacon or chopped frozen spinach

1/4 cup diced yellow onion

3/4 cup French fried onion

salt and pepper to taste

Cooking Instructions

1. Place frozen pie crust in microwave dish and heat on high for 30 seconds. Remove dish from microwave and gently press piecrust to edges of pie pan.
2. Pour Worchester sauce over piecrust, spread with fingers, paintbrush or whatever to coat crust. Microwave crust on high for 3 minutes to bake crust. Check to see if bottom of crust is baked through. Heat for an additional minute if necessary.
3. Beat eggs and heavy cream in glass bowl with fork until yokes are mixed well; salt and pepper to taste.
4. Place cheese, onions and bacon/spinach in baked piecrust; distribute evenly. Then pour eggs and cream mixture into piecrust over cheese, onions and bacon/spinach. Heat dish on medium high (70 percent) for 6 minutes.
5. Sprinkle French fried onions over partially cooked quiche; continue cooking on medium high heat for an additional 5 minutes. Let stand for an additional 2 minutes out of microwave.

Couscous with Vegetables, Feta and Toasted Pine Nuts

Serves 2 to 4 starving students

The next recipe is a delicious, filling couscous great for lunch or a fantastic side dish. The cooking container of choice is a two-quart glass bowl.

Ingredients

1 cup dried couscous

8 oz frozen stir fry vegetables

2 tsp curry powder

1/2 tsp garlic powder

1 cup of water

1/4 cup toasted pine nuts

1/2 cup crumbled feta cheese

Cooking Instructions

1. Combine couscous, vegetables, curry powder, garlic powder and water in bowl. Microwave mixture on high for 5 minutes until water boils.
2. Remove bowl from microwave; cover with large textbook. Let stand for 5 minutes.
3. Fluff couscous with fork, then top with feta and pine nuts. Serve and eat.

Stuffed Bell Peppers

Servers 4 starving students

The final recipe I’ve found for you is a delicious stuffed pepper dish. It’s what I’d like to call classy dinning. You will need both the nine-inch pie dish and the two-quart bowl.

Ingredients

2 large bell peppers, halved and seeded

8 oz can of stewed tomatoes

1/3 cup quick-cooking brown rice

2 tbsp hot water

2 thinly sliced green onions

1/2 frozen corn kernels, thawed and drained

1/2 cup of kidney beans, drained and rinsed

1/4 diced chorizo cooked in microwave until crispy (optional)

1/4 tsp crushed red pepper flakes

1/2 cup shredded mozzarella cheese

1 tbsp grated Parmesan cheese

Cooking Instructions

1. Arrange peppers halves in the pie dish; cover with plastic wrap with poled ventilation holes. Heat on high for 4 minutes or until peppers are tender.
2. Combine tomatoes with their liquid, rice and water in two-quart bowl heat on high for 4 minutes or until rice is cooked.
3. Add onions, corn, kidney beans, chorizo and red pepper flakes into rice, heat on high for 3 minutes.
4. Spoon rice mixture into peppers; recover with plastic wrap with ventilation holes. Heat dish for 4 minutes. Sprinkle cheeses over peppers. Allow two minutes for cheese to melt, then plate and serve.

Now I warn you all, these recipes were tested in a 700-watt microwave. Check the power of your microwave before you attempt these recipes, cooking times or power levels will vary with different microwave wattage.

Try these recipes next time you want to catch that floor hottie’s eye. You never know — they may think you can actually cook.

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