With all of the magazines these days sporting extremely thin women on every single page, women need to keep in mind that being that skinny is not always healthy, nor does it necessarily make you happy.

The next time you are craving a cheeseburger, but suppress that urge by staring at Paris Hilton’s image, just consult this helpful guide of reasons not to starve yourself.

1. Taco Bell tastes really, really good. Not just Taco Bell either. Culver’s, Pizza Hut and any place that slathers cheese on everything. Think how happy chili cheese fries make you.

2. Betty Page, Marilyn Monroe, Lana Turner. Some of the sexiest women who have ever lived had curves all over the place.

3. It gets cold here. A little padding can help to keep you warm on those long winter nights.

4. Sitting on hard classroom chairs can be hard on a tailbone. Put a little padding underneath those bones and you don’t have to worry about the pain.

5. No need to carry weights when you walk. Some people actually put weights on their ankles to walk for exercise. If you have a little weight on you already, no need to spend the extra money on silly things like weights.

6. Cleavage rocks! It’s a great place to balance plates, catch crumbs or store money.

7. We have some strong winds on the East Side. Now, I’ve never heard of it actually happening, but if you are really skinny, you could blow away. My grandma says so.

8. Songs like “Rumpshaker,” “Baby Got Back,” “My Humps” or “The Thong Song” are just a few of the tunes dedicated to having some “junk in the trunk.” If there’s one song written about it, it’s cool; with a whole collection of songs written about shapely women, why would anyone want to be skin and bones?

9. Olive Oyl. Yes, she had two men fighting over her, but look at her fashion sense! Hunger obviously made her delirious enough to pick out that hairstyle.

10. Anacondas will eat anything whole if it weighs less than 100 pounds. No one wants to die that way — it’s not trendy!

Disclaimer: A friend of mine who recently visited the Milwaukee County Zoo gave me the anaconda information. If it is incorrect, blame him.

> Comments