I could do that last minute shoulder dip, the one where it allows our shoulders to pass so we can just slip by without a collision, but that would be foolish.

I find it really surprising every day how many people lack common courtesy. I’m not sure what parents are more concerned with that allows them to forget to tell their children to say “please” and “thank you,” not to chew with their mouth open, to hold elevators if they see someone a few steps away, or to move over on the sidewalk to allow someone to pass in the other direction comfortably.

It’s not like parents can forget these manners because people like Oprah and Dr. Phil remind parents about them on a daily basis. You’d be surprised then, when I encounter students and adults alike on the sidewalks around Milwaukee.

Common courtesy and manners are something everyone should have. It’s really not that difficult. It doesn’t seem like it’s asking too much to take the time to chew with your mouth shut so the person sitting at the table next to you during lunch doesn’t want to vomit, or so the student sitting next to you while you’re smacking your gum in English class can actually concentrate.

On many occasions walking to class on the sidewalks of the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee campus, I encounter some of these courtesy-lacking citizens who will not move over on the sidewalk. I’m sorry, who do you think you are?

Do you really think that your rank in society is so high that you’re too good to politely move over one step to the side to allow another human being to pass? Because of their failure to move over in the past, I find myself scrambling for the edge of the sidewalk and into the grass (or snow in the winter) in order to not get pushed down on city property. I pay taxes too; this side of the sidewalk is paid for!

Now in summer or fall, this sidewalk situation isn’t quite as big of a deal. Summer is warm and the grass might feel good brushing against my naked toes in my sandals. Or even in fall, a leaf crunching underneath my feet might be relaxing.

Winter and spring are different stories. The snow, if you haven’t ever been lucky enough to be the one knocked off the sidewalk, is cold. Very cold, as a matter of fact. It’s water, but frozen! A concept some people don’t seem to understand.

And then there’s spring. That gross-looking pile of dirt with remnants of winter garbage mixed in — along with the occasional animal droppings — is mud. It’s gross, dirty and pretty unsanitary most of the time.

To punish these non-common-courtesy-law-abiding citizens, I refuse to move for them sometimes. When walking on sidewalks and I see the group of friends approaching me in a straight line, three across the sidewalk, I hold my head high and walk straight.

I could do that last-minute shoulder dip, the one where it allows our shoulders to pass so we can just slip by without a collision, but that would be foolish. I would be giving in to the fact that those three citizens just dominated the sidewalk and I was the one to have to move.

Or when you’re walking and you see the happy couple holding hands that, heaven forbid, refuse to temporarily let go of hands to form a single-file line so you can pass, I don’t cringe. I actually giggle to myself knowing that I’m about to walk straight through them and make them let go of their precious loved one for, maybe, two seconds.

For all you sidewalk-citizens who think you’re better than other people and refuse to move over one step to the side, prepare for battle. If you won’t move over, I’ll make you move over.

I just want you to see how a little mud feels in between your toes in the springtime.

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