By engaging in world tournaments and losing miserably in them, we are appeasing most of the world.

Sports enthusiasts have been discussing what the problem with the United States has been in recent international competitions. The basketball team disgraced itself by not winning the gold in Athens. The hockey team was throttled in Turin. Now the baseball team shamed itself in the World Baseball Classic.

I’ll have you know America actually won all of these contests because diversity is the ultimate goal.

The team owners of the major American sports leagues apparently met because they noticed their products have been leveling off in terms of fan interest. The leagues have reached a familiarity that doesn’t generate new fans and is starting to wane on current fans. Fantasy leagues helped, but we are capitalists and enough is never enough.

America is the best and many Americans will be happy to list the ways. Of course we can win any petty international contests, even hockey. So the owners came up with a brilliant plan to diversify their product.

America will lose on purpose. It’s not a total conspiracy because the players are left out of the loop. The best players have little interest so not selecting them makes them happy, which keeps them focused on their job of entertaining Americans.

Then the selection committees, in conjunction with the team owners, pick a crew with little chemistry. Americans are temporarily aggravated and confused with the lack of winning, while the team owners are sitting back and smiling.

With America out of the picture, all the other countries are front and center. No need to work hard scouting when the unknown talents present themselves.

The owners scoop up all the foreign players that stand out. We leave countries decimated by pillaging their only stars, creating space for new players to develop. A cycle is created and sustained.

The National Basketball Association has taken players from Russia, China, Germany, Spain, France, Argentina and more in recent years. Players from those countries come to the U.S., make millions and absolutely love the way of life.

Then every four years, if not every off-season, those players go back to their home countries and tell of the many benefits. This process encourages hard work and determination by others to come to our country and experience similar success. Coming to America can only boost celebrity status if some players enjoy stardom in their homelands.

The same process can be said for Major League Baseball and the National Hockey League.

I'd like to apply my recent theory on engaging in obscene arrogance toward the U.S.'s less-than-stellar performance in world challenges. Clearly we are the best and everyone knows it, we determine how these tournaments are run, we are the USA, it’s manifest destiny.

Our team owners have noticed a product that has leveled off in terms of fan interest — it has reached a temporary saturation point. By engaging in world tournaments and losing miserably in them, we are appeasing most of the world.

So now you understand, we are kicking major ass in these competitions and taking home our own "trophies."

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