ChunkyT1983: Ok, first question: How did your interracial relationship start? Was it like any other relationship? Or did you always desire someone from another race?

leenern2: Wow, ok... For the last 4 years I have really only dated men outside of my own race. It isn't a requirement for me but that is just the way it has happened. I met my current boyfriend who is African-American down on Spring Break last year.

ChunkyT1983: So aside from obvious things such as: bigots, and America's obvious underlying prejudices – why do you think interracial couples are still talked about with a sense of taboo, or peeked curiosity?

leenern2: I think people are very curious and others are very uncomfortable with it. People my age that haven't had experience dating outside of their race tend to be curious. Girls including my roommate, say to me things like "I don't think I could ever date a black men" Not in a racial tone but more a "I don't know what it would be like” tone. So if you haven't really interacted with many people outside of your own race, then you are a little uncomfortable because you don't know. A lot of people still see stereotypes, I take a lot more dirt from guy friends than I do girls.

ChunkyT1983: Yeah, I grew up in Cedarburg... pretty much all white suburban kids... so I see what you're saying when it's more of a, "I've never even been around other races and don't know how to act," more than, "I don't wanna be around them," So maybe because of population segregation this is, and will, continue... I don't know, I've never dated someone from another race, nor have I ever been adverse to doing so... i guess the opportunity has never come up for me because of my social circles i end up in

leenern2: I have had the most stares or questions from older people. younger people around my age do have a more open mind then generation before them.

ChunkyT1983: Do the younger people seem excited for you guys? Kind of like, "YEAH! They're breaking the damn mold." But that kind attitude in itself can be both harmful, and helpful. On the one hand they're being supportive, but on the other hand they're still treating you like an oddity. Does that happen at all, or am I WAY off base on this?

leenern2: I grew up in a small town with a very small amount of minorities. But I actually don't get any "Yeah way to go" statements from anybody. The people that don't know me well don't say anything. I don't mind when people do ask me question, in fact the way I see it is the more they know the better. My boyfriend says the same thing to. There will be questions usually regarding stereotypes I have heard that I will ask him. Like "do black people really dislike mayo". Yeah it’s a pretty silly question but I ask him. He usually laughs at them and then jokes around with me for a while before giving me an answer. He says though that he would rather have someone ask so that they don't make assumptions.

ChunkyT1983: So is your family cool with it?

leenern2: thankfully I have a loving and supportive family who don't care who I date as long as he treats me right.

ChunkyT1983: So have you ever had any moments of blatant disapproval, or weird moments of bigotry? I also find it interesting that guys are more disapproving than women... why do you think that is?

leenern2: nothing extremely blatant. I have gone through a few moments were I notice a difference in the way people have treated me when I am with my boyfriend or than when I am not. A few times in restaurants I have noticed people looking at us. Other times I have been helped less at stores than I would be helped otherwise if I was alone or with someone of my own race. Other than that the only true comments that have been made to me are from my white guy friends. Sad..but true!

ChunkyT1983: so do you think the white guys that make comments are just doing so because of their own inadequacies, and fear of the stereotype that they can't measure up to a black man?

leenern2: I think part of it has to do with their own inadequacies and their lack of exposure to people of different races. I feel like boys feel really threatened at times of their "dominance" and power

ChunkyT1983: for sure, the ones in power want to stay in power

leenern2: Yes very true

ChunkyT1983: so the white males see "their women" dating "the other" and freak out 'cause it’s an assault on their inflated egos

leenern2: Yeah I think that might be a large part of it. I got in a huge argument once with some white guys about how they thought black men were just lazy and couldn't work their way to the top

ChunkyT1983: Wow, how did it end? Are you still talking to those guys?

leenern2: I ended up practically crying because I couldn't change their minds no matter how hard I argued with them. I could have probably kept trying, but some people are not willing to change. Unfortunately I was stuck in a car with these guys for 12 hours so I eventually talked to them again. But I won't forget the argument. it seems that people hold on to stereotypes in order to feel comfortable with what they don't know.

ChunkyT1983: True, that's why they exist in the first place (this is according to Dr. Gaskill over here) because life doesn't have any neat categories, so we make them with stereotypes

leenern2: I totally agree

ChunkyT1983: So what are some differences people wouldn't ever think of when being in an interracial relationship vs. a same race one?

leenern2: on a basic level they are really the same...ups, downs, love, jealous, etc, etc, etc. Ok now that I got the boring stuff out of the way. I would say that yes there are a few culture differences, but getting to know and experience those differences is a great thing. My boyfriend has taught me rhythm and all sorts of stuff about music that I wouldn't have known else wise.

ChunkyT1983: Have you ever felt discrimination from African-Americans? What would you want anyone who's never been in, or around, an interracial couple... or interracial anything... to know?

leenern2: I have never directly felt discrimination from African-Americans, but that’s not to say that it doesn't exist. My cousin who also dates an African-American man has gotten some heat from a few African-American girls. I told this to my mom the other day when she was asking me a question regarding my boyfriend — if his family would is comfortable with him dating a white girl. I told her that African-Americans are a minority therefore they have probably had a lot more exposure to us (white people) because we are the majority. That's what I think they root of the problem is. Lack of interaction with others who might be "different". I don't have anything grand to say about dating someone outside of your race, because the truth it its just like dating someone of your same race except that I get to know a little bit more about who they are and where they come from. There are some cultural differences that we acknowledge and celebrate but I'm glad to have that in my life!

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