You could have been a part of a threesome and did not even known it.

All children are taught from a young age to share. Preschoolers are told to share their toys; kindergarteners are told to share their school supplies. Swingers are the adults that took these lessons to the next level: sharing their spouses.

Swinging has been around for ages, but lately it seems to have moved into the limelight. Television shows such as “Sex and the City” and “Nip/Tuck” have aired episodes revolving around this sexual kink. MySpace.com has “swinger” as an option under the “relationship status” category. Swinging is invading popular culture at an alarming rate.

There are parties held for swingers in Wisconsin. Couples have to pre-register to attend, and they don’t advertise, so you have to know someone to get in. Although I have never attended one of these highly exclusive parties, I have friends who are pretty knowledgeable in the habits of the swinging community. Don’t misunderstand; the Milwaukee metro area has a pretty large swinging community.

Couples not only swap with other couples, they also share their swinging couples. One couple may find another couple through whomever they are having sex with at the time. The whole point of swinging is to keep the sex life fresh; therefore it is all about the excitement of being with someone, or a couple of someones, new.

Some couples are completely involved with other couples; everyone has sex and they swap with both sexes. Other couples remain heterosexual, swapping only with the opposite sex. This is commonly referred to as wife swapping. Still there is another type of couple that only one spouse has sex with another couple, and the non-participating spouse watches. This brings us to threesomes.

Threesomes are age-old. Many straight men I’ve spoken to have expressed their fantasy of having two women at once. When I inquire as to why, they always say, “double the amount of all the female parts.” Keep in mind that most men don’t want to date (seriously anyway) more than one woman at a time, they just want the perks. Men aren’t the only ones who feel this way, as I know some straight women who will readily admit that they would love to have two men at a time.

Some people get off on seeing their better halves getting pleasured by another person. Although this usually ends up being a threesome, as the non-participator can’t control him or herself, occasionally the show and watching is enough. Have you ever had sex with someone in a relationship? Was his or her significant other watching or taping? How do you know if they weren’t? Most people don’t check closets, windows, under the bed. Few people would think to look for a video camera. How do you know you weren’t spank material for a horny spouse?

Although you may find this disturbing, think about all of the kinky things people do for their lovers. What does it hurt to be the kink for once? You could have been a part of a threesome and did not even known it. Now, I’m not trying to induce paranoia, just to let you know that more likely than not, you know a swinger, someone who digs threesomes, or even orgies. This isn’t a subject that often comes up on double date night, as most swingers won’t risk their friendships or the public view of them. That’s right; your best friend might go to orgies with his girlfriend and get off on a free for all.

One large room, many people, no clothes, no inhibitions. Orgies have been around since the ancient Greeks discovered sex and orgasms. Some may find this thought disturbing, disgusting, or disconcerting. There are many people out there who find this thought incredibly erotic. The majority of people who fantasize about being a part of an orgy will never experience one. People are hesitant for many reasons: fear of being vulnerable, fear of society’s opinion, fear of broaching the subject, or simply good old-fashioned nerves.

Another big reason why this lifestyle is so feared is the STD factor. In an orgy, one could infect many people with an STD in the course of one evening. Condoms are necessary, but many swinging couples and group-sex lovers say condoms take away from the whole “free love” idea that spawned orgies in the first place. Also, pregnancy is another thing you don’t want to wonder who it came from, especially if there are many candidates. No one wants to be on the Maury Povich special “Who My Baby Daddy?”

Swinging, threesomes, and orgies are all about trying to find what works for you sexually; alone, or as a couple. Threesomes have been known for breaking up relationships, but there are also many couples who credit their sexually deviant lifestyles for saving their marriages. Most people would call it unnatural, would say that a couple should have sex with only one another. This may be true for you, but not everyone in the world. If you find that swinging works for your relationship, so be it. It is hard enough to find someone today to fit you, don’t let society tell you your lifestyle choices are wrong.

Do whatever, or whoever, makes you happy. Just keep yourself safe. It’s a crazy world out there; you just can’t trust every Tom, Dick, Harry, Sylvia, Jennifer, Steve, Kim, Mike, Brett, and Sara you have sex with, even if it is all at once.

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