Most of us have been a little of both, and I believe the naughty deserve toys too.

Happy Holidays, everyone! As the semester comes to a close, there are many things on our minds: exams, term papers, grades and, most of all, holiday shopping.

For those of you looking for the perfect gift for that special someone, allow me to help out a tad.

First of all, you must decide whether your loved (or lusted) one has been naughty or nice. Santa gives out coal to those who have been naughty and toys to those who have been nice. This is great in theory, but most of us have been a little of both, and I believe the naughty deserve toys too.

Here are some ideas:

Nice:

• Massage oils: flavored, scented, warming, cooling — there is a plethora of options when it comes to this versatile gift.
• Massaging toys, also known as vibrators to some of us. There are a million options out there. For the more easily embarrassed, The Tool Shed on Center Street has vibrating massagers shaped like caterpillars or rubber duckies (so cute, and only naughty if you want them to be).
• Glass dildos: these are newly popular, although they are available at many different porn stores. Don’t buy a cheap one! The higher quality will last forever and the likelihood of them chipping is very low.
• Cock rings: there are so many options, vibrating or not, different colors, tightness, shapes, balls in or out — pick the perfect one.
• Anal toys: anal beads, butt plugs, mini vibrators — need I say more?
• Lingerie: Victoria Secret is a great place to shop for the nice girl or guy in your life. Silk boxers, thongs, panties, a cute teddy, pajamas — they have all the stuff for well behaved big kids.

Naughty:

• Nipple clamps: yes, they do exist; yes, they are a little painful. There are different strengths and sizes to suit your taste.
• Handcuffs: also furry handcuffs are available, but those are leaning toward being a “nice” gift.
• Floggers, cat o’ nine tails, whips, you get the idea. It’s just a little punishment for your “naughty” lover.
• Candles. Hot wax can be a lot of fun if you know what you are doing. (Not anywhere with hair — that’s just mean.)
• Accessories: collars, leashes, chokers (be careful!), or anything with studs.
• Lingerie: try howcool.com for the “naughty” wearables. Patent leather is pretty inexpensive, but real leather is more comfortable. Wait a minute, your lover has been “bad,” who cares about comfortable? Stilettos also fall into this category; the taller and slimmer the heel, the better.

Well, there are a few shopping ideas for you, if you need to find a good gift for either the naughty or the nice. Remember, there is nothing wrong with being naughty in moderation, and being too nice is really boring. Mix it up, have some fun, and keep in mind, “Only the good die young!”

Best of luck on exams and papers, have a great vacation, enjoy your presents, and I will see you next semester. That’s a threat and a promise.

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