“Death is like being a skull. If you’re good you go to heaven. Hell is where you go into a goopy lava and die. Didn’t you ever know that?”
– Ben Colby, 6 years old

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Actually, I would like to be a scientist. Because I like interesting stuff and scientific stuff. I think when I grow up and get a job, I’ll make my room a scientific room. Well, mostly I like drawing scientific stuff so that’s what I like: drawing and scientific stuff. Mom says I should be a conversationalist. I talk a long time and when I start laughing, I laugh a long time.

Do you know who President Bush is?

Yes. He is the president right now. I would say so (of Bush doing a good job) because he went to China and spread the news about our country. So he says to them that they should have freedom. That’s what they said on the television.

What is war?

It’s like war because people fight in the war against Iraq. No, I don’t know why they’re fighting … um, for freedom. Civil War was because the United States was fighting against the other states because of slavery. The first war started after the Boston Tea Party. That’s the only two wars I know about. It’s really bad because lots of people get killed and lots of our stuff gets blew up. We have a lot of stuff here like guns and tanks. Yeah, it’s really sad. I wouldn’t like to be in a war because I might get killed.

What do grown-ups do that you wish you could do?

Well, grown-ups can play poker and Polish poker. And I was asking them to teach me to play. But that’s a grown-up game. I wish I could play “Halo,” but mom says it’s a violent game. She said “nope, nope, nope.” I think it’s fun, but there’s a lot of blue blood and a lot of aliens. That’s probably how I got so scared.

Do you ever want to get married?

Yes. Because being married is good. You have kids. Because I can have a wife. Because the wife has kids and that’s why I want to be married. You have to have a wife to have kids.

Would you be a good dad?

Yep, I’d let them do a lot of stuff and not let them play violent video games unless it’s “Star Wars.”

Do you like girls?

Sometimes, when they’re nice. Liking girls is a secret for me. Don’t ask me about girls.

Do you know what death is?

When somebody dies. Death is like being a skull. If you’re good, you go to heaven. Hell is where you go into a goopy lava and die. Didn’t you ever know that?

What was the best day of your life?

(We went to the) Milwaukee Zoo and I went to these places and stuff and even saw animals I didn’t even recognize! Really! Actually, we saw a monkey. Guess what, in school, I wrote a poem about monkeys. Their names were Crazy and Big Big.

What was the worst day of your life?

That would be when I couldn’t play the “Star Wars” game (laughs).

What do you think about when you are alone?

If mom is gone with dad, I play my “Star Wars” game. If I was old enough, I’d call Johnny (his 10-year-old cousin) to come over and play if I were old enough to use the phone.

Is there something you wish you could have that you don’t have now?

You know that one really big ball I sat on? We selled it at a garage sale. It had holes in it. I would kinda like a new light saber because my batteries ran out. Those were the things I wish I had. Write that down, OK?

What are we put on Earth for?

We are on Earth because God created us and created a world for us to explore and see all of God’s creation. That’s why we’re on Earth. Put that down.

What kind of music do you like?

Rock. Because it sounds cool. And it has guitars and I started to like guitars. Well, (I like) Yellow Card. There’s this one song that you don’t know that I like. (He starts singing the song softly.)

What makes you sad?

Remember the worst day of my life? I said I get disappointed when I can’t do something I want to do. I can’t do something for one hundred days or one thousand days.

What do you do when your feelings get hurt?

I tell God or mom or dad. Bullies hurt your feeling and say mean things and they don’t like you.

Do you want to learn how to drive?

Driving is an important thing because you’d walk everywhere and your legs would get tired. We went to ShopKo and we were there for twenty hours. Driving is better than walking because you can go fast, unless you’re running.

(The interview gets interrupted by someone)

People should be quiet when I’m on the phone. OK, I’m upstairs. I’m in my room.

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?

I would go to the places where the poor people are, like the ones in the hurricanes are and I’d take two pictures of the ruined, ruined homes. And I’d take lots of pictures. So that I can remember the poor people. When I meet the people, I’ll build houses too. I’d go back and forth to get wood.

What is the meaning of life?

I haven’t studied that in school yet. God wanted friends and people are still alive and then more people can come to Heaven. So write that down.

What is love?

Love is like hugs and all that other stuff. Yeah, that’s loving.

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