Sometimes, relationships suck. I’m not the type of person who ordinarily writes about relationships, but I figure now is as good a time as any.

Names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.

What happens when your fiancé asks for the ring back? Well, in this story, Janelle throws it at him and goes for a long walk. Of course, it happened some time ago, and here Janelle is, still living with Martin.

I can imagine that anyone would be both sad and a bit angry at this situation. But say Janelle can’t really go anywhere. Janelle has no money. A friend says you can move in, but you say you feel a bit apprehensive. Almost anyone would, no matter the circumstances.

Moving out is always stressful, even when it’s probably better for you in the long run, right? And speaking of which, so is moving on.

What is the difference between loving someone and being “in love” with them? I would say that being “in love” partially means that you could see yourself spending a lifetime with that person.

Too bad Janelle can’t pull off that one, at least not with Martin.

So Janelle wonders about moving out and moving on. You weigh your options, you consider pros and cons.

Pros: Wouldn’t have to answer to someone, wouldn’t have to justify where you’ve been, or what you’re doing. No paranoia, no tiresome arguments, no BS.

Cons: You feel like you’ve failed somehow. You feel like you should have tried harder. You’ve invested a lot of time, energy, and love into something, and in a sense, it dies.

What do you do then? In this case, it’s not really about the both of them. It should be about Janelle; after all, Janelle’s got to pull herself up.

That’s not to say you should be selfish. But you have to figure out what is in your best interest. People can look out for you, sure, but no one’s going to hold your hand.

It may mean that you’re alone for a while. Your friends will be there for you as much as they can be, but I’m hoping that you don’t need a relationship. Take some time off, Janelle, you deserve it.

I don’t mean to sound like a self-help book, but you need to find out who you are. Or if you think you know, be comfortable being you.

It has been said that time heals all wounds. I’d say that it does, somewhat, but so does action. So, my suggestion to Janelle would be figure out what you want, and figure out what’s best for you. Then act on those decisions. Don’t wait for a solution, make one.

Good luck, Janelle, I’m rooting for you.

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