I actually drew a heart around his name while I was in class the other day.... Seriously, who does that anymore?

Here is my problem: I like a boy. I am in full-on crush mode. What started as a mild flirtation has turned into me getting full on butterflies every time I see him.

My heart starts to beat faster when I call him and I panic at his voicemail and hang up for fear of sounding like a bumbling idiot if I leave a message. Truth is, I am a bumbling idiot when it comes to these things.

My last relationship happened by default so I find this whole having a crush thing to be a little foreign. Not that I haven’t had crushes before — I’ve had lots — but being so inexperienced with the whole dating thing and how one should act has got me feeling a little shaky.

To tell you the truth, I think my last “official” date was my senior prom. So, as you can see, I’m a little out of practice.

I’m smitten with this boy. I’m doing all sorts of things that are out of character for me. I actually drew a heart around his name while I was in class the other day. A heart!

Seriously, who does that anymore? I’m 22 and giddy like a schoolgirl. And if he even had a slight bit of interest in me, I’m guessing my admission of heart drawing ended that real quick.

I don’t even want a relationship right now, but I find myself wondering all the time if maybe he likes me too. Or if he just thinks I am another silly girl with a silly crush.

I could probably just go ahead and ask him his intentions, but that would be admitting weakness. I do not want him to know how much I do like him because I don’t want to freak him out.

I also don’t want to get hurt. I also don’t want to start liking him too much, because it is a crush and nothing more right now. Rational me tells me it is a just a crush, but crazy-girl-with-a-crush me is drawing hearts.

Since I have been turning into a head case, I’ve turned to my friends for help. I have warned them that I have turned into “that” girl. My friend Francine reassured me that I am not “that” girl but simply a girl. A girl with a crush. And a crush can do crazy things to a girl. It’s just that some girls are just better at hiding their craziness than others.

It all seems rather ridiculous. It is heartbreaking and exhilarating and silly and fabulous all at the same time. There’s nothing a like a good crush to make you go a good kind of crazy.

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