You rarely ever hear someone say, “I am single,” without an explanation for why.

Our society teaches women not to consider their life rewarding until they are complete —complete with a soul mate.

Our culture provides a map that points women in all different directions on the road of finding “the one.” These maps do not guarantee a destination, often leaving the driver wondering if they have reached a dead end in the search for a soul mate.

In her book “The New Single Women,” E. Kay Trimberger challenges our society’s pressures to find a soul mate and redefines what it means to be a single woman today.

Trimberger spoke about her book in the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee Union on Thursday, Nov. 3, in a lecture sponsored by the Women’s Resource Center. She presented readers with an outlook on the anxieties associated with being single as well as society’s shift toward developing an understanding that it is OK to be single.

One main point Trimberger discussed is that many women feel they constantly need to justify why they are single. Often they use the soul mate ideal to excuse this stigma — they are looking for their soul mate and do not want to “settle.”

You rarely ever hear someone say, “I am single,” without an explanation for why. Instead, a person is more likely to throw out excuses like “I do not have time for a relationship” or “I want to finish my education before settling down” or “I still have not found the one.”

Trimberger feels this change is already beginning to occur and will continue to be a work in progress.

“Marriage is not going to die (because of these changes), but we are not going to go back to the 1950s either,” Trimberger said.

Television shows such as “Sex and the City” and “Gilmore Girls” reflect changes in society. They portray single women and address issues pertaining to them.

Joan Mayr, a university services staff member who attended Trimberger’s lecture, feels the single woman image has become more positive.

“It is not as stigmatized now as it was in the past,” Mayr said.

Although Trimberger’s book does not address the single male, she addressed him in the lecture.

Several audience members questioned the idea of the single man. A double standard exists in today’s society, making it harder for women than men to expose their singleness.

“Guys have it easier living life as bachelors because of stereotypes,” Trimberger said.

Trimberger talked about a recent trip to a private college in Boston, where she came across a sign posted in an elevator advertising her event. Large font read: “Being content with single life.” In even more noticeable script underneath, someone had penciled in: “Impossible.”

The negative assumptions regarding being without a partner still exist today.

“Society presents an unrealistic ideal that pressures people to have a certain kind of love,” said Elana Levine, assistant professor of journalism and mass communication, who attended the lecture.

Could Cinderella have lived happily ever after if she had not met Prince Charming? Based on the norms of society, probably not; however, based on the new outlook addressed in the book, Cinderella could have lived happily ever after as a single women.

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