When sports and sex collide
By Devon Wiesend
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There are a lot of sports euphemisms for sex. Some of them seem painfully obvious, but some are a little more difficult.
In modern times, it’s important for a non-fan of sports to understand the lingo of the sports fans when it comes to the one thing we all have in common: sex.
1st Base: Making out, just the tongue in (facial) cheek part.
2nd Base: Someone’s got their hands on a chest without a barrier in between!
3rd Base: Hands down pants, up skirts. Fondling genitals falls into this category.
Home run, home plate, score: Sex, generally reserved for vaginal, but oral and anal also fit here.
Whose team do you bat for? Also, Which side of the plate do you bat from? In reference to sexuality, heterosexual or homosexual.
Switch-hitter: Someone who is bisexual.
Strike out: Failing to get a number, a date or any action after hitting on someone.
Long ball: (This is a sports term, I swear.) Having a long go at intercourse (i.e. balling for a long time).
Pinch-hitter: Someone you sleep with in lieu of a relationship. Or, someone you have on the side.
Going deep: If you can’t figure this out …
Rookie: Someone just starting out in the area of sex. Newly de-virginized.
Eligible receiver: Someone who is not taken and is willing to go home with you.
Fumble: Premature ejaculation.
Out of bounds: Touching somewhere not allowed by your partner.
Out of your league: Too good for you, often pertaining to class, popularity or looks.
Tight end: Someone who won’t put out.
Wide receiver: A woman with a loose vaginal canal (i.e. “Screwing her was like throwing a hot dog down a hallway”).
Ball-in-hole (golf, pool, etc): Having sex.
Bat, stick, pool cue and anything else phallic-shaped: Penis
The green (as in golf): A woman’s pubic hair.
The rim: As in rim job, applying tongue to cheek (the other one) and all that’s in between.
All of these terms are up for interpretation, and some are just plain silly. It’s doubtful that any person wants to hear these in reference to their own body or having sex with their partner.
These seem to be in existence just for shop-talk purposes. By becoming acquainted with the euphemisms, now everyone will know what the sports fans in their lives are really talking about, or why thinking about baseball never really works to turn anyone off.


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