So you’re at the beginning of a relationship? This is also what I call a time of limbo. You just don’t know when to cross into new boundaries or are afraid of crossing into the wrong ones. For example, who pays for dinner? Who supplies the condoms? Is it OK to go “number two” in their bathroom? This is also the time when you have showed your signature sex moves and linger into more adventurous regions such as using sex toys! However, every couple is different. One person may already be out in the field while the other is still warming the bench. Sex talk can already be a hurdle of a discussion, and bringing up sex toys could give any shy person an anxiety attack. That’s why it’s important to approach this carefully, because nothing is more sensitive than a libido’s threshold.

If your partner is a sex toy virgin and you need to approach this in a gentle manner, then I wouldn’t pull out the vibrating cock or sex swing just yet. Instead, try using household items that you already own to slowly open the sexual horizon. For a classic example, try using a few pillows for propping yourself in new sex positions. I have also heard that bobby pins make for stellar nipple clamps. Let’s not forget that adjustable showerhead that us ladies know and love. You can try initiating some teamwork activities the next time you two are in the shower. Ladies: you can also ask your partner to use mouthwash before going down on you – the menthol is known to have quite a stimulating effect.

I understand that nothing can be more intimidating when someone pulls out an eight-inch dildo. Try to make the toys playful and fun. It’s a great way to make your partner at ease and open to explore new things. You can also try an edible approach. No one says no to fruit flavored body paint or a man-made sundae. However, I would suggest going easy on the chocolate sauce. You would never expect how much a little can go a long way!

Some people love the idea of adding sex toys to the relationship while others are not as open to the idea. That’s why it’s important to understand one another’s wants and needs. If you are someone that is not fully on board but curious, then I suggest broadening your knowledge about sex. Believe it or not, reading is a great way to learn a thing or two. For any woman that wants to understand a man’s penis and all of its magical mysteries, then I would highly suggest Tickle His Pickle – it’s the bible to oral sex. Another personal favorite of mine is The Big O: Orgasms: How to Have Them, Give Them, and Keep Them Coming.

So whether it’s your first time using sex toys or hundredth, it’s important to go about this subject in a sensitive manner. Let’s be honest here – we all enjoy amazing sex once and a while. So why not add a little something extra to the Holy Grail? I feel as if it’s your civic duty to yourself and the rest of the sexually active to never short side any orgasm.